Thank you for your question and welcome to Health Central's ADHD Community.

I am not a medical professional and would not be able to  give you medical advice.

I am sorry you and your boyfriend are having such a difficult time right now. Was your boyfriend receiving treatment for ADHD and/or depression in the past? Did he suddenly decide not to continue treatment?

I am not sure how much you can help your boyfriend if he is not willing to seek treatment or take steps to improve his mood and behavior. There are certainly many people who choose not to take medication for ADHD, but even so, they often use other strategies to help improve symptoms. For example, daily exercise has been found to both improve mood and reduce symptoms of ADHD. Helping your boyfriend set up a daily schedule for exercise or going with him to the gym each day may help. Other ways to control ADHD symptoms include different behavior modification techniques. Your boyfriend will need to work hard to determine what symptoms are most interfering with his life and then find ways to overcome or compensate for these problems.

As far as depression, there are many treatments available, certainly medication  is one choice, but cognitive behavioral therapy works for some people as well. This is a type of therapy and your boyfriend would need to be willing to see a therapist on a regular basis. However, for some, depression is a chemical inbalance and medication seems to work best.

Your choices and ability to help your boyfriend will depend on his willingness to help himself. He should take responsibility for his health care and his behaviors. I do not believe you can do that for him, but you can support him as he works on ways to help himself.

Eileen