Monday, February 21, 2011 Teacherabc asks

Q: My adopted son has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and with ADHD, depending upon the doctor. How do I know which diagnosis is correct?

He is almost 21 and in college so he goes to doctors alone. He has been diagnosed by different doctors over the years with either bipolar disorder or ADHD. How do I know which he has? His biological mother has bipolar disorder. He has moodiness that comes from nowhere but also gets moods coming from external events. He has a lot of trouble sleeping--does not get tired easily. He is very impulsive--has had tremendous problems with spending. He often will have difficulty having a conversation, changing topics rapidly. I would say his manic episodes (he has been diagnosed with BD II) can last from a few hours to a few days. He will when he is those moods, hold grudges, become verbally abusive (name calling), get physically aggressive (grabbing and pinching, not hitting)...sometimes he will withdraw and not talk to you and then when he finally does and releases it, rants and raves. In between that are some bouts of depression---he has no friends, I would be better off if he hadn't come into my life...The newest doctor just put him on Wellbutrin but I hear that it can cause cycling in those with BD, so I am concerned...

- A
- A
- A

Answers (1)

Eileen Bailey, Health Guide

2/23/11 5:42pm

Thank you for your question and welcome to ADHDCentral.com.

I am not a medical professional and would not be able to give you medical advice.

It would be impossible to say whether your son has bipolar disorder or ADHD. Some of the symptoms of these disorders overlap. For example, mania can appear similar to hyperactivity and there can be an inability to focus and pay attention in both, just for different reasons. It is also possible to have both ADHD and bipolar disorder. These are common comorbid conditions. See:

ADHd and Bipolar Disorder

I understand how frustrated you feel right now. Would your son be willing to allow you to come to the doctor with him? That way you would know a little more about what is going on, what to expect and be more involved in the treatment process. This might help you keep him on track.

Keep in mind that no matter what the disorder, it is important to focus on behaviors and have a list of what behaviors you will accept and which ones you will not. For example, does your son need to attend classes? Does he need to work, even if for a few hours per week? Does he need to complete some household chores? You will need to know exactly what you expect of him so that he also knows. Whether he has bipolar disorder, ADHD or both, he will need to not use these as excuses and still live up to his responsibilities. Dr. Ari Tuckman explained how to do this in: Parenting Teens and Young Adults with ADHD - A Discussion with Dr. Ari Tuckman.

You can also check out:

Adult Children with ADD Living at Home

Resources for Adult Children with ADD Living at Home

It is so important to set clear limits and expectations. Be specific with what you will accept and what the consequences will be.

Good luck and please check back and let me know how you are doing.

Eileen