I am a mother of 4 who has ADHD. How do I gain control of my life?

I find myself comparing my pathetic life to the clean,organized and driven lives of some of my friends.  They seem to have clean homes, a great sense of style and plenty of success at work,whereas I don't seem to be any of the above.  I've been told i'm being way to hard on myself, but truthfully, my house is a mess, my kids run wild when daddy's not home,because mommy spaces out sometimes and they can get away with more,my cooking sucks, I am way fatter than I want to be, I can never get organized enough to plan consistent activities with the kids, I frequently lose my temper, and at work, although I have many clients who love me, I don't have enough that bring in the $ because I seem to be slower at cutting hair than the other hairdressers, and my totals are always low,I smoke to much, I cry when I drink wine and I just feel like my life is just one big fat crazy mess all caused by me.