Wow, It's been a while since that post...I must have been in a terrible mood huh? Since then I have quit smoking and lost 20 pounds, I still want to be thinner but I look good, and I don't feel as terrible about myself all the time.  I take fish oil and grape seed extract, and I've figured out a lot of the low self esteem comes from me beliving my bi-polar husband when he decides to verbally rip me apart.  I'm really not that bad , and recently I'v joined a couple of art web sites and am attempting to sell my art work, which seems to be my true passion anyways, and has been my entire life...but I always let the ones who were "better" than me intimidate me.  I am much faster at work...it just takes time and experience, and as soon as I decide to stop being such a chicken with the haircolors my totals will go waaay up.  I love myself, and God didn't make any mistakes when he made me.