Friday, August 01, 2014

Tuesday, May 06, 2008 LiasMa4Eva@aol.com, Community Member, asks

Q: It's so hard to work p/t,chores, keep up with house, raise 2 yound kids. How do you do you do it?

Just getting through a day is hard.  Everything seems to get disorganized in 5 minutes -- no sooner do I get focused and try and straighten up -- things will look good but don't open a closet or drawer -- something might fall out,  But I can't function with the clutter, disorganization -- it makes me depressed -- I want to be able to find sturff and not waste time looking over and over for it.  Everything seems complicated -- whenever there is orgainzing thoughts, paper work or organizing at work -- it seems to take me forever and I lose track -- too much to remember -- overwhelming -- Yet I never seem to have the time to get it done -- either I get paralyzed by the extent of what has to be done and I do nothing -- except walk around, etc.  Or I'm compulsive and have to get it all done now -- and please don't interrupt me because I'll get pissed off.  But even after doing that thats only the surface there is sooooooo much to do.    The teacher said my daughter has trouble managing her time -- gee I wonder why -- could it be me?  Just adding on something else that life throws you -- like my step father being in the hospital for almost 2 months -- I hardly have time to see him -- the kids and their schedules, etc. and working and just doing the balanacing act -- which I'm tired of doing.  Is anything ever easy -- I'd just think it's ridiculous to go through this way of feeling day in and day out -- needs to be more than that  Get rid of the anger, frustration, etc.  Instead of starting a project at night after kids are sleeping (9:00 or after) -- I'm too tired to start a project -- b ut looks like the only time to start one, but I'm too tired to start, or am afraid I won't finish.  Example -- painting my front door.  Cleaning out the shed.  Yard cleanup, laundry, house cleaning , work p/t 20-=26 hours a week, clean out papers -- I must do that a few times a week =-- it builds up that fast -- and it makes me crazy and I can't remember anything.  I like just maintaining the plants and flowers -- I don't want to go crazy - because of al the things I'd like to do -- b ut not enough time.  I can only do the best I can -- I have to believe that.  thanks for your response to my carryinjg on.  Hope I at least made some sense.  Thanks, Debbie -- hard to get motivated even though I mean well and would love to have some of these things done and would be great to pay someone to do -- I'm dying to get a professional, but husband does not approve -- That would make my day and just have her come back periodically to keep me on track -- I think it's well worth the money.  Let   me hear what you guys out there do for support.

 

Regards, Debbie

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Answers (5)
chattycathy, Community Member
5/10/08 9:49am

honey, you do the best you can. list your priorities of the heart. what is most important in life? when it comes to the end of life, will you be the most proud of how you kept your house, or how well you raised those children? i know the answer and so do you, so don't put so much pressure on yourself about your house and how clean it is, with two kids you'll never be able to keep it straight anyway, hardly anyone else with two kid do either, unless they have alot of help. concentrate on what you need to teach those children so they'll become self suffient, smart, make good decisions, ect. it is your job to teach them how to become good functioning adults in this world. that is what you need to be concerned about. how you keep your house may get on your nerves now, but honey believe me, how you raise your kids, if you dont do it right, will get on your nerves for life.  been there done that   chattycathy  plus you have a part time job too? girl give yourself a break. your just like anyone else in your shoes mabe better!  good luck to you. i feel your pressure, but honestly hon, let go of it, its o.k.

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xodec20, Community Member
5/ 8/08 2:02pm

Take medicine regularly and get enough sleep. That's what I do.

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tammycc, Community Member
5/29/08 4:32pm

hey there. I feel the same way. Just wanted to say hang in there. Some of my days are good other days I feel like I'm going crazy...  I went to a friends house the other day and it was spotless, I kept wondering how she does it.. god bless!!! Tammy

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Patti in Ohio, Community Member
6/27/08 12:00pm

I have a daughter that is exactly like you are P/t job, 2 kids, same feelings )! Although, I offer to help her and maintain things once or twice a week she still will not let me (due to me not being in good health). When I visit I do anyway. I love her for that but she has my 2 granddaughters and I can't stand to have them live this way (but I do understand her problems).The advice I had for her is to hire someone 2 times a week. Just to get caught up on laundry, dishes, bathrooms and most of all to clean out the refrigerator. Then let her do the rest. I would tell your husband that if there is a problem hiring someone then I would suggest that he splits the chores with you. Also, let him know that by you not being able to get things done it does make you WORSE. I have seen my Daughter go through horable depression, anxiety, and being tremendously overwhelmed - how good is that for anyone in the house? If you have the money, HIRE someone PLEASE!!!!!!!!! it will start to make you feel better and eventually your mind will work out a schedule and you will start to feel much better. You may at first have different feelings about someone doing this for you - do not feel guilty you are not alone. If you can get a family member or friend that you are close to help that might  be better at first.

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Kay, Community Member
6/27/08 6:03pm

im going thru the same thing everyday seems to get worse 4 years ago i started a cleaning bussiness to take pressure off myself i clean for other people then when i go home I dont yell at everyone and i dont feel bad about everything being perfect but my house is still clean that bothers me I want to be ok with a dirty house. People that I clean for that have a dirty house are always so much happier i envy them. I love making people happy by cleaning their house especially if i know they are torminted by it like i am. Even all this has not helped me. I cant clean out or organize my mind and its driving me crazy. I have three kids myself i dont want them 2 b like me.

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By LiasMa4Eva@aol.com, Community Member— Last Modified: 12/25/10, First Published: 05/06/08