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I don't have an answer for you, but just know that you are not alone.  I also have an 11 yr. old with ADHD and anxiety issues.  We too are very frustrated.  I can tell you that we have implemented some changes with the celebrate calm program that have helped greatly with anxiety, functioning at home, and tools to use with teachers.  (The web address is www.celebratecalm.com, but to warn you, the CDs are a little pricey).  I have noticed that dealing with the source of the anxiety seems to stem some of the immature behaviors from our daughter.  My husband struggled with ADHD as a kid, as did some of his siblings.  He swears to me that she will eventually grow out of the severe immaturity, but I'm not sure I will live that long! ;-)  Good luck.  My heart goes out to you.