Sunday, May 19, 2013

Tuesday, October 26, 2010 theocm asks

Q: My mom has adhd and wont seek help

My mother has had symptoms since i was a child, full blown outbursts, constantly shouting, digressing, frustrations over mundane tasks,inability to concentrate, wreckless driving- due to inability to sit still and keep focused, has never been able to read more than three sentences without distraction, she has unuasual bursts of anger but can be talked down instantly once things arequickly explained. My twin and i were both diagnosed bipolar disorder over a decade ago, shortly after he took his life. my mom since then is in denial she has any mental illness one day then jumpsto advertising she has bipolar disorder, she feels she must have it if we do. i disagree, from my personal experiences and research and observation she is adhd. inability to sit still, it everyday is a rollercoaster with her and no matter how smooth i try to make things for her, theres always something "stopping her from her goals" she is convinced everything in life is too hard, rite down to the can opener. she has energy, but cannot follow through because she is already on something else. I am exhausted, i am 27 and i cant keep taking careof her. her driving is horrendous, she swerves, fidgets, adjusts her chair, changes temperature, music, checks glove box, side doors, windows mirrors, all while driving. shes had more accidents than i can count. either shes going to kill herself or someone else behindthe wheel. i cant do it with her anymore, shes causing me episodes. where can i get free info that can be mailedor something, she wont listen to me andif her doc suggests something, she switches primary again.

and no, she is not a drug user, she has been in recovery for alcoholism for years now. she cannot maintain a job, primary income is disability, she has notbeen formally diagnosed because she forgets dates, and we do not have any family, its only herself and i.

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Answers (2)
Eileen Bailey, Health Guide
10/26/10 5:15pm

Thank you for your question and welcome to ADHDCentral.com.

 

I am not a medical professional and would not be able to give you medical advice.

 

It sounds like you are shouldering a great deal and managing somehow to take care of both yourself and your mother. That is a great accomplishment but it must take so much from you that you have little time to pay attention to your own needs.

 

Your mother obviously needs a complete mental health evaluation done by a qualified provider. You say, however, that she never remembers to keep her appointments and she is on disability. Are there county services in your area that can help with the driving? There may be volunteer organizations that can help, someone that can take some of the responsibility from you. I would look into what services she is eligible for due to being on disability.

 

Eileen

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11/ 2/10 1:54pm

Thank you, I'll look into the info you have given me. She drives, I do not, I guess i was scrambling when i wrote,looking back on it- I didnt make much sense due to emotional typing. She most likely will not accept any helpas she feels she is fully capable. thank you very much for your referal and kindness. Trust me its very appreciated.

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Merely Me, Health Guide
10/26/10 10:41pm

Hi there

 

First of all I am very sorry you are going through this.  It seems that you are being the parent figure to your mom.  Do you have any other supports or family members who can help with her? 

 

I don't know your mom but there really isn't any way you can diagnose her.  If she is on disability...she must have some diagnosis?  Does she have a doctor or therapist?  No matter what she has it sounds like things have reached a critical stage where you both need help so that she does not injure herself driving and help for you so that you are not having to worry and be her caretaker.

 

Can you call your local mental health hospital and ask for advice? 

 

I am going to give you the number for NAMI...an organization which may be able to help you with information regardless of your mom's diagnosis.  "The Information HelpLine is an information and referral service which can be reached by calling 1 (800) 950-NAMI (6264), Monday through Friday, 10 am- 6 pm."

 

Hope this helps.  Please let us know what happens.  Thank you for reaching out here.

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11/ 2/10 2:13pm

she was diagnosed with a nervous disorder at age 17, but she abused valiums, she enjoys the high they give her. I know I am unqualified to diagnose her but she has yet to stick with therapy for more than two weeks- longest. she describes her symptoms as being bipolar, because in her mind that would make sense us having same illness, if she even has one. she has adverse effects with all medications, uppers are downers, and vice versa. I maybe mistaken, but i was under the impression that may be the reason why some people living with add take carefully prescribed stimulants to calm them? I cannot get her to try to accept help. she doesn't want it. She was granted s.s.d. due to ptsd, after losing my brother to suicide. i wasn't living wit them at time, i was with family members and in therapy. after that we were both hospitalized for unstable behaviors. She had described her actions as having been new found to her, but granted losing her son was very hard, but her destructive behaviors were always there just amplified more so. its tough to explain but everyday is a figt against time and boredom, she needs constant attention or she becomes easily depressed but never sompletes a single project. idk, gotta go she's here now.

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11/ 2/10 2:15pm

I'm copying number youve given me. thank you!! really, mean it thanx!!!

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By theocm— Last Modified: 12/26/10, First Published: 10/26/10