i have been dating this guy for about 8 months...his behavior is becoming untolerable to me more and more..i explained the behavior to his mom and told me he was diagnosed with adha and he was bi-polar...however i found out that he is sneaky, he is a manipulator and a compusive lier...it is so hard to believe much of what he says...he seems to not finish everthing he starts and he drinks beer everyday..he tells me i am cheating on him which i never did, but i think he is sexually active with other women ...he says all kind of things like he is talking out of his head and it is driving me crazy...i know he has something wrong and at times i think he i much aware of the things he say maybe...he like to get u rowled up and stress u out like it is a game at times, its like he has defferent personalities...my question is, are these the symptoms of bi-polar or adhd... i am comfused about him..
Rose
Thank you for your question and welcome to ADHDCentral.com.
I am not a medical professional and would not be able to give you medical advice or diagnose your boyfriend.
Symptoms of ADHD are inattention (forgetfulness, disorganization), impulsiveness (doing things without thinking of the consequences) and hyperactivity (excessive energy, fidgety, restless).
Symptoms of bipolar include mood swings, from a mania stage (excessive energy, not sleeping, feelings of euphoria) to depression.
These symptoms can manifest in many different ways and sometimes the manipulation and lying come as a result of trying to hide behaviors that are a result of symptoms.
Both conditions are treatable with consistent medical care, including behavior modification, therapy and medication. Not all people with ADHD choose to take medications, some choose to use only behavior modification to manage symptoms.
Mental illness, no matter what the diagnosis, is not an excuse for lying, manipulation or treating people badly. You will need to look closely at your boyfriend's behaviors and decide whether this is something you want to deal with on a long-term basis. You don't mention whether he is currently receiving treatment for either the ADHD or the bipolar. If not, chances are his behaviors are not going to improve and, in many cases, will continue to deteriorate. With treatment he should be able to better manage his behaviors, but he needs to be committed to making these changes.
You can look through the information on ADHD in adults on this site and check out BipolarConnect for more information on bipolar disorder.
I hope this helps
Eileen
Rose
The one thing I have learned (the hard way) is that we can not change someone. We can offer our support but change must come from them. We cannot help, we can only support and encourage, they must seek the help and follow through.
It sounds like you need to let go and let your (ex?)boyfriend decide whether he wants help. I do understand what he has said about the medication making him sleepy as medications for bipolar can do that. However, there are different medications. It is up to him to follow up with treatment.
That is the biggest indicator. If he has been unwilling to follow through on treatment, his bipolar will remain unstable and his moods will continue to go up, down and all around.
I wish you the best. Please keep me posted and let me know how you are doing. I do know what you are going through, have been there, done that and have moved on.
Eileen
thank u so much Eileen
think my 4 yr as adha ..teacher thinks so also he wont play with other children kicks of an only does things on his terms all he wants to do is watch tv!!wont play with his toys at home thows toys down the stairs an also usin his bedroom as a toliet ??he also makes funny nosies an blinks all the time!!an drinks alot confused !!
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well first of all, i would truely like to thank u for your feed back, and no, he is not on medication,, when i first met him he had some type of medication but didn't continue it.. he said it made him sleep all day, so he stopped...he claimed he received the meds to get disability..one thing for sure is he don't have to fake anything...it is all there. he tries to manipulates the situation by saying no one else thinks anything is wrong with him but me...not true. his mom and sister told me about some of his past, and i was told that women he has dated, no longer wanted to deal with him because of the behavior...this guy is in deep denial...i felt sorry for him and tried to see if i could help him change through prayer and patience but my patience is running out...i have a very stressful job and stress at home with him didn't mix..i thought i was going to loose it bucause i had never dealt with anyone like him before...i finally put him out..and the only way i could get him out of my house was to sit his things on the porch and let him know i meant business...u use to lock him out and let him back in but not this time...i am done with that..i can t help him...he need medication and our father and until he realizes it, he won't change...i do still talk to him ever day and that drives me nuts but atleast he is not in my home lying in my face and living here...omg...he is a sneaky one...but as i said, thank u so much for the input...u r a blessing