I just started to notice ADHD syntoms in me that have been part of my life for so long that I thought they were normal! but when I put the pieces together in an ADHD context I feel genuinely shocked..... it makes perfect sense!!! I just recently made the decision -after 6 years in a company and at least 5 performance reviews- to change careers and stop trying to compete vs. peers to get results at a defined deadline... deadlines did not make sense to me, hence, that place was not for me! that realization took me by surprise and drove me to depression for a good few months...I thought I was broken, I was not good enough, I was not "disciplined" enough like my friends... then I decided that I did not want to fit the mold and I wanted to do more, wherever that might be. I worked really hard to understand myself and my strengths and qualities, and took a leap of faith... somewhere along the line I might find the right place for me: someone that wants to do big things, big challenging things, plant the seed of change where no one else sees it, delegate the ongoing execution to someone else and move on to brand new big things. I am in a place of dreams at this point of my life, nevertheless I felt ashamed that I could not make it where other regular joe's have suceeded before. I didn't think I was bad, why were they letting me go??!! I started making changes in my life in order to be able to afford grad school; that meant organizing my fricking personal finances -today, after 6 months I can say I'm nearly done optimizing my fixed expenses! LOL ...and I joined a gym to see if exercise could help me sleep better. I was sure it was the stress, thinking too much I thought... nothing new, I've always had trouble sleeping a good night sleep, since forever! hence, a good old dark room could work, if only I get rid of the new clock my mom gave me as a gift when she came to visit... tic....tac.....tic......tac...... It makes so much sense, it makes the random pieces of information fit perfectly. What a relief... if true I might be able to get help! However, reading further about the subject I notice that most (if not all) ADHD adults had falling grades when children, or did not do very good in college... I graduated third in highschool and seventh in college -both groups nearly the one hundred-. Does that mean I'm wrong???? I never thought of myself as particularly sharp, or clever... I just worked -and continue to work- hard to get what I want (pls note that it took me 6 years to start thinking on living my job trying to make it, till I could not anymore)...If I think really hard and concentrate (no pun intended LOL) I guess I can find emerging trends like: -I started ballet, tennis, and guitar lessons... finished none; they all bored my in no time! -My mom claims I started talking way before my sister, my one-year-older-sister. She had to separate us in different activities to ensure she was able to talk! -Sleep till noon on weekends?? no way! 6 o'clock a.m. was cartoon time right? why is everybody sleeping? why are they wasting time sleeping??? But on the other hand, I've always loved reading... I was (one of) the first kids in my class to read properly; and math... my mom made me go to 1 hour daily classes for at least 3 years since I was 10, and then -as I was older and wiser and busier- I was alloud to have only 1 hour just two times a week for another 3 years... hence, I was able to practice a lot... whenever I got it nobody could beat me to it. I tried talking to my mom, or my brother.. nobody believes me... they think I'm exagerating, or undermining myself, or "getting distracted" by pshycology mumble jumble... how can they not see it??? I'm I the only one that can see it clearly in my family? it makes sense!!!!!! I want the world to know! but then again... I told my mom and ended up in a fight... think I'd better wait and see how it goes...... In the meantime... I'll just relax and enjoy the epiphany mode!