I am 20 years old.I forget what Im saying or thinking and during college lectures I cant keep my mind on it and I lose track of what Im thinking. I have a good short term memory. I can read the chapter a day before a test once and get a B or A on the test but forget most of it. I do fine in school. I cant do every day responsiblilies very well. I hate doing them period. I was always called stupid by even my best friends and eventually thought I was stupid. I could never talk to other people and was always frustrated to the fact that I couldnt engage with other people. It got worse as I got older and I believe over the years I have formed a inferiority complex, depression and major social anxiety disorder. I have never had a girlfriend because of these things and cant imagine ever having one with these problems which is the core problem that affects my depression. My social anxiety gets worse around women for no reason. I think I may have inattentive ADD.
Thank you for your question and welcome to ADHDCentral.com.
I am sorry you are going through such a difficult time right now. I do not believe you are stupid and being able to get A's and B's in college classes doesn't sound like someone who is stupid.
I am giving you some information on inattentive ADHD:
Differentiating ADD and ADHD: Diagnosis, Symptoms and Treatment
ADD vs. ADHD: Is One Better (or Worse) than the Other?
ADD or ADHD: Which is Correct?
These articles may give you a better sense of what a diagnosis of inattentive type of ADHD is all about.
Anxiety and depression are quite common among those with ADHD, especially those who haven't received a diagnosis or treatment and instead of getting help feel there is something wrong, that they are somehow to blame for the symptoms of ADHD.
I would suggest that you contact your doctor and request a complete evaluation. This way, you can get a diagnosis and discuss what would be the best treatment for you. Because you mention depression and anxiety, talking with a therapist may also help.
It is never too late to seek help. You are still young, at 20 years old you still have your whole life ahead of you (I don't believe you will not ever have a girlfriend).There are professionals who can help you find strategies to help you improve your weaknesses but also help you find, understand and build upon your strengths. You may be able to talk to the infirmary of your college to start this process.
Please check back and let me know how you are doing. I do care and I do believe you can do great things in your life.
I have an appointment with my doctor monday. Thank you for your answer. It helps alot. I really hope getting help can be benificial to me. For some reason I doubt I can just change the way I think about things. Im very negative when it comes to thoughts about myself. I feel it will be very difficult to tell a doctor or therapist this stuff. Its just really embarissing and I dont know if I will be able to tell them all the stuff that has troubled me. It will just be hard to think differently when this is the way Ive thought for along time
I also have researched inattentive Add and Im 90 percent sure I have it. Also around some people Im confident and can be myself but thats a very limited amount of people. I also overthink every scenario
I hope all goes well at your appointment Monday. There are some online screening tests for ADHD, these shouldn't be used for diagnostic purposes, only a doctor can diagnose ADHD, however, you can probably print out the answers. This might help you when trying to describe behaviors, actions and thoughts to your doctor. You can find links here: Online Screening Tests for ADHD
Please check back and let me know how the appointment goes.
If it's any consolation, I'm now 30 and in my early 20s I completely overhauled my thinking. I used to be negative 99.999% of the time, especially towards myself. I hated myself. I have been able to stop those negative thoughts and replace them with more positive thoughts (though it wasn't easy work and it didn't come overnight). In the beginning, I would just replace the negative thoughts with ANY other thought, like "Wow, that cloud looks like my cat." Something like that anyway...lol. I have ADHD, diagnosed at age 20, along with Bipolar. I also find it VERY hard to express myself to other people. I have a very hard time verbally, both with myself speaking and other people speaking to me. What I found, and still find, very helpful is writing my thoughts and feelings down and giving that to the doctor. I do that with my psychiatrist quite often. I'm lucky he cares enough to actually take the time to read the letter. Without the letter, which is lately, all I can say is "I don't feel good." I just CAN'T explain it. But I can write it much, much better. Anyway, I no longer hate myself; I actually love myself and find it quite sad that I used to hate myself. I realized that when I was in a group therapy where one person said they hated themselves. Very sad. Now, I'm negative about 25% of the time, but that is only because I'm going through a moderate depression that's been hanging around since the end of July. When I'm feeling stable, though, I'm negative probably 5% of the time. A MAJOR difference from where I used to be! My own mother had even told me "You're miserable to be around." And I'm sure I was. Okay, end of ramble. Good luck Monday and let us know how it goes!
I saw my doctor and she prescribed Sertraline. This is to try and get my depression and social anxiety figured out. Plus a psychiatrist was recommendation and Im having another check up in a couple weeks. Dont know about the ADD yet
I hope this helps. Please check back and let me know how you are feeling.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. It is helpful for others to know that negative thinking can be overcome. It does take hard work and patience but it is possible to change your thought processes.
I think we are all negative at some times. It is hard not to have that negative thought creep in from time to time, but, as you are, it is good to be aware and "catch yourself" before landing back into a negative thought black hole, so to speak.
I just went to my check up with my doctor. She upped my dose of zoloft to 75 mg because it wasnt really working much (maybe a little). She also put me on 10 mg of Adderall. Its been about 5 days since I took the adderall. I felt the extra energy right away and the ability to focus a little more (on practicing my new guitar). I also started to feel happier and confident and not caring as much about thinking people will think Im stupid or something. On the second day I felt I could listen to people better and hold a conversation much better. It made me feel great. The next day I felt like that except when I went to work which is a great source of anxiety for me. Yesterday I felt the best I had in a long time. Later that night though my anxiety came back big time. I had a terrible dream and woke up and felt super depressed and crying for no reason it seemed. I have felt quite restless at times and I feel a little more deviant. I also felt very aggressive at work and very irratable even towards customers for no reason, though I did not express that out loud. My add seems like it goes on and off at times and I still think about whether the meds are working all the time. It doesnt seem like the adderall worked much at all today. I dont know what to do. I feel like my mood is changing way too easily and I still think super negative and seem in my own world at times. I
Sorry it took so long to get back to you. Had some major computer problems and ended up needing to wipe it clean and start all over.
Anyway, just checking in to see how the new medication combo is working out for you. Let me know - how are you feeling?