I have been in a relationship with a man for 7 years that has a 12 year old child with ADHD.  He does not have the time or the energy anymore to deal with this child's behaviour problems.  I have been dealing with everything for the last 3 years and then all of a sudden his long lost brother came to our home town and moved in.  He told my husband that he should be looking after this little girl not me as it was his child not mine.  So since my husband has told me that he would deal with her, she has become manipulative, lied, not doing well in school, is disrespectful to everyone.  Does not call me mom anymore but calls me SHE. My husband rewards her for her bad behaviour.  I have stepped totally out of the picture right now as my husband cannot see what he has done to our relationship and to hers.  He keeps saying to me now that she has ADHD and that he needs to keep telling her a million times over again about what she is doing or what she has say's.  She does no chores anymore, has no responsibilities, and everytime she gets a friend she dumps then in a week and has nothing nice to say about them.  My husband will not put her into anything, she hangs out 24/7 now with us.  And when I ask her to leave the room for a few minutes so we can talk she starts slamming doors and yelling at me.  He includes her in our conversations or tells her things that were between me and him and she goes and tells everyone.  I am in counselling at this time and have suggested she go to but he said she went 8 years ago and does not need it.  I am not sure anymore on how to manage this whole situation and as of today thinking of walking out the door forever.  Thanks