Hi, How can I stop myself from getting getting carried away when I am talking on the phone, also one on one talking to another, that I don't end up in a monologue and the other person, dosen't get a chance to hardly talk. This happens a lot and it has been the cause of embrassment and conflict with a good friends. I can't seem to get a balance, I have a invisiable clock, but I don't have it on me all the time. Please give me suggestions as I don't think some of my friends call me because of my talking problem. They know I have Add and bipolar, but it still causes me problems. Do I talk more because I have both disorders? I would appricaite any help you could offer. Thank you, Sr. Carmelita
6/27/08 12:08am
Sorry, I don't think I have an answer, just the same problem. I constantly interrupt people and have a very difficult time listening to others. In my brain, I always have something to say, but just cannot realize at that time that other people have worthwile things to say or have needs to be heard. When I was first diagnosed with
ADHD/ADD, I remember the doctor that did this work up on me, noted in my records that I was "loquacious." I think that's the word for it. The other thing I do, I just ramble on about fairly useless or irrelevant things, that probably no one wants to hear about. I think because of my talking I have missed a few relevant social cues or miss the bigger picture in an interaction. I have to do my best to hold myself back. Good luck.
7/28/08 7:34pm
I have ADD and my son has ADHD and it has been a noticable issue.
After seeing my son following in my footsteps, I try to listen to myself and others. When I hear me go into a long rambling story, my only control is that I heard myself for once now I know I'd better stop soon!
When I hear the other end of this conversation either saying they've got to go or other clues I am now more conscious. Still difficult to stop....
1/30/09 10:00am
Well, the truth is that there is no easy cure. I am also a "motor mouth" who is trying to overcome it. I think the answer for both of us is to view this as a challenge, a project that will take a long time to fully conquer. My first step is going to be simply observing others when I start blabbing. I have been told, and even noticed, that when I get on a roll, I do not even notice how my poor victim is acting. She/he is sending out "overload" signs that I am not seeing. So, I am going to work on looking at the people I am talking to, and actually seeing the "overload" signs. That is a first step. Next, I think I am going to attempt to plan exactly what I need to say (asuming I have the time). What I mean is to find a way to say in a sentence the things I usually say in a paragraph. I think this is the beginning, and once we start down this pathway we will see where to go once we have somewhat mastered these two techniques. Good luck to both of us. I am sure we both will need it! And I sincerely hopes this will help you. It has already helped me.
4/ 7/09 7:03pm
Try to think about yourself,like your face. Or you could try to talk to yourself in a mirror so that you can get it all out of your system before you meet up with a friend.this will literally prevent you from letting out a weirdly immense amount of your important events that have lately took action in your actual past life.You should never ever take anything like a type of pill, or medison because you can get scientificaly sick and you may want to have a long happy overwelming, and peacfull future of life.take it from me, the 9yr old little girl in the 4th grade, but I tend to have absoloutly terriffic gramar.thaaaaaaaank you veeeeeery much.
trust me, Iv'e tried it before.
5/13/09 9:15am
I have the same problem and although I do try to stop and let others talk my brain is already a thousand thoughts ahead and I just can't stop it. When I try to stop doing it or am alone for long periods and so don't talk too much I find the damn wall breaks and a thousand words a second flow out and it irritates people. The only thing I find helps is doing more exercise, it helps my body and brain get a little tired and its one way to get rid of the energy I have. In terms of talking on the phone, its a little easier to avoid. Think of questions to ask the person to include them in the conversation and then refer back to these periodically (obviously where appropriate). Another way is to not allow yourself to much for 5 minutes (yes or no or that is interesting is fine) and write down what you wanted to say during this time, then quickly look at the list and see what is really appropriate and relevant and then mention only that. I tend to go off topic all the time which is often the problem, it ends up being a free association type of situation.
1/ 4/10 10:45pm
Hi, Sr. Carmelita, I am a 38 year old man with ADHD so I understand about your condition first hand. If you can cut the amount of time on the phone by watching television , listening to the radio or using some technology to get distracted.
People without the ADHD condition are turned off by a person who has the condition.
The excessive talking on the phone can be reduced by finding other outlets to distract you.
Hope this starts to help
Mr. JPExcitement
4/30/10 9:51pm
It is depressing to read from all of us who have this problem without solutions. I seem to have gotten ADHD since pre-menopause...and accompanying lack of sleep. I have been trying to take a deep breath and focus inwards (like short meditation). It is very hard to do during a conversation but when I can, it helps me slow down. Otherwise I tend to just talk faster, louder, with more words, more ideas - even I get exhausted listening ot myself! If I notice or sense the person pulling away or them getting quiet, that is my cue to say "I'm talking too much now - so I'll let you speak" The hope is they will know I know about this problem. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Since I wasn't like this all my life, I don't think folks understand I'm not doing it on purpose. Meanwhile, I am losing friends focus as well as the attention of my child. If anyone finds answers, please share.
I will start trying twice-daily meditation practice and will report back if it helps. I will increase exercise because it helps. Dr. Amen's book "Healing ADD" says rigorous daily EXERCISE is great for ADD/ADHD. "Healing ADD" is one of the best books I've read on the subject. Exercise increases the neurotransmitters and hormones that we need that are deifcient in our BRAINS, the lack of which 'cause' or end up showing up as ADD.
I wish us all the best.
5/ 8/10 6:00am
I am a 39 year old and I am also trying to stop talking so much in life, I am the type that always wants to know the "who what where when why of everything. This leads me to wants and desires that I could never achieve. Traffic just kills me inside. I would rather drive 4 hours longer (if it was moving) on a road trip instead of a 30 minute traffic jam experience. I have tried a few things that help but I haven't been able to keep it up. First thing I tried to do was not talk at all. ZERO talking. As i got better at it I started to see all the questions and observations I had. About 4000 a second. Just kidding. But i did start to see what things I thought about that just didn's mean anything important. If you look at your brain for a minute.... think of the ADHD mind and how it constructed the pathways so that we could think and access all those thoughts and memories. Our brains thoughts are almost like a lightning blast, the ones that travel horizontal instead of vertical. When I think of stuff I think of many outcomes and many variables in one flash then some part of my consciousness pulls out some topic or question in that flash that I verbally talk about or ask about. We need to make a new pathway that is built in front of all the old pathways we have up to this point. We need to make a doorman if you will or a security guard that is able to react before our lightning blast goes off in our heads. Think of it this way as we grow up we make little connection nodes in our minds as we use these nodes they grow and grow becoming like major thought stations like a train depot. The more we use that particular train station the bigger and more routes come and go from that node. With ADHD I think we have many major depots that each of our thoughts has to go through and because the nodes are so big and strong we are able to have a lot of thoughts at one time, it is in the focusing of those thoughts where we have issues. My thought is this, I am 29 years old now there is no way I am going to make new nodes as strong and functionable like I want to stop being who I am, SO I was thinking I needed to create something in my mind that reacts before the rest of my mind. And I like to use the word tribal beat to describe it. Each of us has to find something that we will remember every time we go to speak. Snapping a rubber band on your wrist each time you want to talk might help. Studies have shown that if you can add a little pain you will learn better and faster. There was a study done where people went into a room and were given time to memories some information. One group was asked to shut off the light when they left the room. Half of the group was given a light shock from the light switch. The group that had pain had a much higher retention rate then the group that did not. I do not advocate violence but I do understand the we as humans do learn with pain. The mind has many voices to it. We have our self talk we have fight or flight and we can have conversations with an imaginary self inside. This is old news to anyone that has taken a philosophy class or a psychology classes. But what we are not taught is to heal our selves with ourselves. I not saying it's easy but we can teach ourselves to change its just very very hard because our neural pathways are well developed. Try making new pathways with a new tribal beat or some other thing that you cannot avoid. The other part you will need to do is make sure to tell your family and friends to help you and understand that you don't want to talk for a while until you have developed a stronger inner self to filter your thoughts before your thoughts get in the way. Good Luck
5/21/10 6:27pm
I too have the same problem and now I have a 17 month old baby I must keep an eye on to see if she has the same thing as me. I hate the fact that I talk soooo much, people are never interested in what I have to say and I hate it when they say, " oh she talks so much, here comes the chatter box." I want to die!!!!!
This is the conclusion (working on it still) the less people know about me, the more power I have and the less they can talk behind my back. I put a lot of personal stuff out there because I talk so much (breaking the silence). Now I say I want to be a mysterious person, a person people want to know about yet never does (remember those people in school, work)?
I also notice that people who grew up alone tends to talk more because they don't have anyone to talk to so they regurgitate everything that happened to them to the first person they see.
It takes one to know one, so no those without our special condition never understand. But I do..
From someone who understnds..
9/28/10 2:06am
There is a cure, especially if you know you have the problem. I had this problem when I was younger, and my talking all the time hurt my career, so I realized on my own, it was a problem. Often, people who talk all the time, it is a defense mechanism.
First: Not everything someone says requires a response OR your opinion.
Second: EVEN if it is something you have VASTE experience and knowledge about, keep your mouth shut till you learn to speak ECONOMICALLY.
What I found is, what I really said, could be said with FAR LESS WORDS than I was using.
AVOID, unless necessary in a job for example, the DETAILS.
Speak more generally.
ALLOW OTHERS TO TALK.
Remember, when your talking you are giving people INFORMATION about you. Information you may not necessarily want them to know. Keep your life more PRIVATE.
Finally, unless you are a DAMNED interesting person, no one wants to hear you talk all the time anyway.
5/22/11 7:24am
I am not sure this will help, other than I sympathize strongly with the upset this causes.I have had the same problem for many years, which has persisted despite many attempts to overcome or curb it. I find that no matter how aware I am of the problem at the start of a conversation, as soon as I get involved in it I have an avelanch of thoughts, then I get excited, and 'forget' that I am NOT supposed to talk. I also think I become very involved in sorting out my thoughts internally - there are SO many, I end up unsure of what I think, or thinking 10 different things, which makes it hard to be concise.
Also, on the occasions I DO manage to be brief, or am forced to answer a question quickly - afterwards I feel frustrated and angry, or Im afraid Ive given the 'wrong' answer.
I have recently discovered I have adult ADD, and I am now hoping that finding the right medication will help, as I suspect the key is to find a way to stop the avelanch of thoughts in the first place.
9/15/11 11:03am
Am 25 years of age and I have had ADD all my life.Only yesterday my boss reprimanded me for talking too much,he told me that i should cool off and shut up and that i was embarrasing myself and ruining my career.It was painfull and i prayed that God may cure me so as to be quiet like other human beings.
I want to be a quiet guy!
9/30/11 9:21pm
@kentwist, and others - I often find myself feeling bad particularly after group social situations (like potluck/organizational meetings), because I get "overexcited" and talk too much though I try very hard not to, and so forth. AND, it's also one thing to challenge *yourself* to speak intentionally and consciously and to actively listen (all of which may lead some of us to speak less...), and a very different thing to be put down (by your boss!) in such a way as you describe - *especially* in a work environment, by any sort of supervisor. Perhaps there's room in your life to consider a different career path or different department/company etc. - the one you're in sounds abusive. there's one where you will be valued and told so out there in the world. In all my fast talking there is also a lot of energy and passion and ideas, and I am a great multi-tasker and "people person". Good things other people struggle with, that come naturally to me! Point being, your voice is important, you contribute to the universe, and I'm sorry that your boss is so cruel and inappropriate - perhaps he is the problem, not you.
9/15/11 3:41pm
Thanks to everyone who's responded so far. This thread has been helpful for me.
One of the symptoms of my adhd is that I can get overexcited and ramble a lot. It's only recently, however, that this has become a big problem for me. I'm now in graduate school studying philosophy. My tendency to uh...get carried away in expressing my thoughts is always exacerbated in conversations about philosophy. It gets totally out of control, though, during my seminar classes. They're long (about 2.5-3 hours), at the end of the day, participation oriented, intellectually intense and REALLY exciting. As a result, by the end of a class I've lost all self-awareness or rational oversite of my behavior. I can't help but blurt out every half-formed thought in my head. Often, I'm hardly aware of having opened my mouth until I've stopped talking. Most of the time, I manage to say relevant and tolerably coherent things. But sometimes I don't. This has become a major source of embarressment and anxiety for me. It's one thing to make an ass of myself in social situations or in an undergrad course--but this is a highly competitive and semi-professional environment. I can't think of a worse time to lose all control over myself.
I've brainstormed a few strategies for dealing with this, such as trying to get into the habit of writing down comments before I share them, or trying to limit my participation to the first half or so of the class. I might try that rubberband thing a previous poster suggested, if I can figure out how to do it discretely. Most of the things I can think of, however, depend on me remembering to behave in some way or other...and considering how little self-awareness I have at these times (and how much effort the classes themselves take) I worry that I won't be able to implement them. I don't think it's a problem with medication, either. I think I need something external, even if its small, just to trigger a moment of self-consciousness before I speak. Any suggestions?
12/ 9/11 8:41am
This can be done descretely... i bite the inside of my lip ... it sounds odd, but it helps. After every sentence is an interesting experiment. Beware of giving yourself a swollen lip :)
1/16/12 3:00pm
Man I can relate with everyone here. I have no answers, but I would like to add to your comment that while as a chatty guy, I want to stop dominating conversations and irratating those in my social circle, but at the same time, by consciously attempting to thwart my natural instinct to talk, I lose a bit of myself. I am who I am, isn't that Popeye's ol' mantra? I am not saying that I don't understand that after a long period of changing the way I act around people over time wont eventually become a natural feeling, but I have had many people in my life tell me they appreciate the way I speak from the heart, that I speak honestly and without prejudice. While this is mostly because I have no checks and balances on my thoughts, it has benefited me many times when I needed to be honest or say something most would hold back for fear of judgement or hurting someones feelings, most of the time it gets me in trouble. Add alcohol to that fire and it becomes a raging inferno of embarassment. I do believe that I want to be myself, but what I feel needs to happen is work on using my inner-monologue more often. The fact is, people my entire life have been telling me I need to think before I speak. But I am an audible learner...when I am alone, I speak out loud in order to hear my thoughts and sort through them. It's a hard habit to break, and many have caught me talking to myelf. The practice has lead me to the point where I rarely spend the time to listen to what I say before it leaves my brain on the red-eye for my mouth. What's worse is when I am having a conversation, I have too much trouble balancing both sides at the same time. It's very difficult for me to listen to what the other person is saying while at the same time remembering my thoughts on the topic. So, either when it comes to my turn to speak I forget what I have to say and bring to discussion to a halt, or I interject rudely without realizing and not allow the other speaker to express themselves. It's complete crazy-town when I end up in a coversation with someone exactly like me. Nothing ever gets said.
I wish I had advice for you. Outside saying that you should start with accepting yourself and who you are right now. Apologize for interupting someone, but never apologize for your flaws. Simply work on them. Make progress. I understand the want for an external source to remind you to be an active listener, but it seems to me things would be easier if you found a friend to spend time practicing having conversations, correcting you when you falter, and acknowledging your successes. Just like you would practice for a basketball game. Maybe even scoring yourself after coversations for a while. Maybe not literally on a piece of paper, but just in your head. Try to beat your score next time, make a real game out of it.
To add, sometimes people are just jerks. I have met many people who find my constant chatter charming. I know myself, and I know that I am not simply talking to hear the sound of my amazing voice; I have ADHD, and I have struggled nearly every day of my life with feeling bad about how I make other people uncomfortable because of it. At this point in my life I plan to work hard at being a better listener, but I am going to keep talking because that is a part of who I am. Their problems is exactly that: their problem.
Good luck.
1/25/12 7:21am
WOW Thank you everyone! I thought it was just me. Every day I get up and I kick myself because I try to be quiet or not talk to much and I never succeed. I work in an office with a more reserved person and I talk way more than she does. Sometimes I feel so stupid or like maybe I am getting on her nerves. When I am quiet ,people are like,"Is something wrong?" I just cannot help myself, I think it is important to think before I speak, and that is what my focus is JUST THAT. I am an intelligent young woman and I have a charm like no other. When I ride the city bus,I don't talk, so why can't I be like that at work? Well just some thoughts...here I am rambling on..I am just glad that I am not the only one that has this "problem".Thanks and good luck to all!
3/ 9/12 2:02pm
OH my goodness, I am glad that I came across this comment! I can really relate to what you are saying here. I am in college as a philosophy major, and I have struggled so much with precisely what you describe here. The discussions are just so exciting and I find myself absolutely brimming with those half-formed ideas and my mind is just tripping over and over itself and... well yes. The result is that I sound like an utter narcissistic fool. And I agree with you- something external is necessary. If the problem is IN my head in the first place, I doubt the best solution is going to be there too... at least not at first. I think the rubber band thing has helped me. And then I've also considered giving myself a word limit per day, or per class. Or a comment limit. I will NOT allow myself to comment more than X number of times, or I can only say X number of words. This obviously forces you to be more deliberate in your speech and to really choose carefully what you want most to express. Of course, I usually forget about the limit, or talk without really even being fully aware of it. So I guess it's just a struggle that you've got to manage over time with lots of self-discipline. Best of luck! But even if you can't "fix" the problem, that's ok. Philosophers are aloud to be a bit eccentric. ;)
12/ 8/11 9:01pm
Hi Carmelita,
Three things which have helped me are:
1) A counselor once told me (to my great amazement) that my "turn" in a conversation is only supposed to be 3-5 sentences.
2) I need to remind myself daily to keep my comments short, so I post acronyms on my work computer or in my car, such as: KYCS; B,IYTTM(EOT),TNPAWWSYF. That stands for: Keep your comments short; because, if you talk too much (even one time), the nice people at work will shun you forever. If I read the acronym every day, I don't forget what the acronym stands for; and, more importantly, I don't forget to practice it at work.
3) I began keeping a "work diary" on my computer at home, which is just as much of a release for me as talking at length to a very good friend about work. Another benefit of the diary is it has helped me to gain valuable insights.
12/ 8/11 9:07pm
Three things which have helped me are:
1) A counselor once told me (to my great amazement) my turn in a conversation is only 3 to 5 sentences.
2) I post acronyms on my work computer and in my car saying things like: IYTTM (EOT), TNPAWWSYF. That stands for: If you talk too much (even one time), the nice people at work will shun you forever. If I read the acronyms daily, I don't forget what they stand for; and, more importantly, I don't forget to do them.
3) I keep a work diary on my computer at home which is just as much of a release as talking to a very good friend about work. An added benefit is I have gained valuable insight while writing the diary.
12/17/11 11:21pm
Better conversations for those with ADD in 5 easy steps!
I had a friend who was patient with me and when I'd go on and on she'd say "key points". I got in the habit of asking myself how relavant the information is, especially when I feel like I'm telling too much information. For example:
You say:
So the other day I saw some pants on that billboard for such and such on highway blah blah blah and I thought they'd look good with this shirt I have that I got from aunt Penny last year. So I went to see if they had them at this and that store but they didn't have them, but I did find this really pretty scarf that had blue flowers on it that reminded me of the curtains in my friend Tilly's house. Her dog looked like a dirty dust broom until they had it groomed, but one time they took it to a discount place and it looked really weird. Like the time I got my hair cut at disount vaccu-cuts. I don't know why I went there. I don't know why I still have sex with personal information you wish you hadn't blurted out...
So what's relavant? Depends on what was said before.
Let's use: "I blue mustangs are awsome."
The above sentance popped out because, you remember you saw one of the new ones when you were shopping, and you were going to agree that they looked really cool. The problem is that you also remembered why you went shopping in the first place and your brain decided that it was relavant as well, but as you began explaining you forgot about the car. Idealisticly this would be your reply (I'll explain HOW to get there below):
"Oh yeah I saw one when I was shopping, they ARE cool."
The person may ask you what you were shopping for to which you could reply sometimg like "oh these pants I saw on a billboard" ...
Getting to that ideal statment takes some work, but it IS reachable. It's important to understand what the end looks like. Having a map where "X marks the spot" is always favorable to just wandering around in a dark room. You have to train yourself. Here's how:
Step 1:
Identifying when you do it. Most people reading this will have already mastered this step and know what it feels like to almost be stading inside yourself screaming "STOP TALKING!!!".
Step 2:
Evaluation. Addressing what was said after the fact gets you familiar with slowing yourself down. Once you are alone try to replay the conversation in your head. I know we all overly analyze stuff but in this instance it is helpful. As you scan your rant apply it to what was said before and ask yourself WHY that person needed to know that information. Your brain will start to recognize that the person did NOT need to know most of it.
Step 3:
Doing it LIVE!! Once you start to retro analyze your converstations you'll automaticly start doing it when you talk to people. At first you'll just notice yourself doing it then you'll catch yourself, until finally you're having conversations with people that arn't one-sided!!! :D
Step 4:
Developing an inner monologue or thinking about things before you say them. Don't worry if you take a minute to reply at first. Getting in the habit of playing your words in your head before saying them out loud takes a bit of paitence at first but eventually it becomes second nature. Don't beat yourself up if you do it only once per 20 conversations. A little bit goes a long way but saying something in your head BEFORE saying it out loud can sometimes stop you from saying something you wish you hadn't.
Step 5
Meditate. For 20 minutes try to have non-thought. Take deep breaths and try and think as little as possible. Idealisticly you want to do this every morning. Realisticly you may do this only once every few months at first, but the more you do something, the more you do it. This is also the most helpful step. It solidifies all the other steps.
So what does doing look like? Kinda like this:
"So the other day I saw some pants on that billboard for such and such on ... why is this important? what were we talking about? cars? what do billboards have to do with cars? they're by the highway... what about cars? Mustangs are cool. Nothing to do with billboards ... highway blah blah blah and I thought they'd look good with this shirt I have that I got from aunt Penny last year. ...do they need to know this? why is aunt penny in a conversation about cool mustangs? irrelavant ... So I went to see if they had them at this and that store but they didn't have them, ... oh yeah this is where I saw the mustang!!.. but I did find this really pretty scarf ... oh yeah that's what I bought ... that had blue flowers on it that reminded me of the curtains in my friend Tilly's house ... yeah the other person had no interest in curtains at Tillys.. Her dog ... what about the car? ... looked like a dirty dust broom until they had it groomed, but one time they took it to a discount place and it looked really weird. ... this story would probably be more interesting during a conversation about funny looking dogs and a person happily thinking about a car won't want to be distracted with a dog story ... Like the time I got my hair cut at disount vaccu-cuts. ... really shouldn't have brought that up ... I don't know why I went there. I don't know why I still have sex with... ahhh make it stop!!!..."
Then this:
"So the other day I saw some pants on that billboard for such and such on ... why is this important? what were we talking about? cars? what do billboards have to do with cars? they're by the highway... what about cars? Mustangs are cool. Nothing to do with billboards .... So I went to see if they had them at this and that store but they didn't have them, but I did find this really pretty scarf that had blue flowers on it. And that's when I saw the car!!! It IS cool!"
Then this:
"When I bought that scarf, you know the one with the blue flowers, I saw one of those. It WAS really cool looking."
And Eventually:
"Oh yeah I saw one when I was shopping, they ARE cool."
Anyway. That's the process I went through. Hope it helps.
12/28/11 10:33pm
So many of the comments here have been very helpful to me, a fellow recovering talkaholic. I have taken many of your comments and added them to a list of "rules" for myself. In addition to some of your suggestions, I have added the following to my "rules" list:
4) Don't interrupt others. [You already interrupt others WAY too much, which they find very frustrating and annoying] .
5) Allow others to interrupt you. [They might simply be trying to ask you to repeat something you just said or trying to tell you that you misunderstood what they just said, thereby making all your lengthy comments completely irrelevant]
6) Only make the point(s) which you had originally planned to say when you began talking. NO ONE HAS TIME TO LISTEN TO SOMEBODY SAY EVERY SINGLE THING THEY CAN THING OF TO SAY ON A SUBJECT! If you really want to make the other points, GIVE THE OTHER PERSON A CHANCE TO SPEAK FIRST. Only then may you take your turn to express whatever other thoughts you had. However, if you can't make all the points you wanted to say IN 3 TO 5 SENTENCES, then you had better wait for another day (Otherwise, the person will begin avoiding you, because he knows he won't be able to get away from you once you get started).
7) If someone gives signals, or actually verbalizes the fact, that they want to end the conversation, STOP TALKING IMMEDIATELY! If you don't they will need to avoid conversations with you in the future.
8) Just because you happen to be talking to someone else who also talks too much, don't take it as a license to disregard all these rules and do the same thing; because you backslide into your old ways.
9) If the other person has already talked too much, SKIP YOUR TURN (especially if you are at work)! DON'T MAKE ANY ADDITIONAL POINTS when talking to a fellow TALKAHOLIC, because anything you say will just prolong the conversation indefinitely.
10) If you have a co-worker who also talks too much, REDUCE THE NUMBER OF NON-WORK RELATED CONVERSATIONS YOU INITIATE with this person to only one per week.
1/ 7/12 8:03am
I'm 19 and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I had a huge problem with that but I found that it could be helped. I don't know if what worked for me would work well for everyone but it is worth a try, nothing extreme.
Being conscious of the fact that you are talking too much is the first step.Try to remember that you are prone to do so and not notice when the other person is trying to talk. The more you remain aware and get used to seeing when the other person wants to talk, the easier and more natural it will become.
If you see that they want to talk and have an idea to finish, either find a way to finish it quickly which will give you an ending to achieve and stop rambling, or finish your sentence and think about the thought you need to finish for a moment so you remember it, and then let the other person speak. When they have said their bit, continue with your idea.
If I interrupted and noticed, I would stop, apoligize, and let them continue, reprimanding myself mentally which helps drive home the point so I will remember to be careful about interrupting naturally. Just like with any memory thinking about it for a second helps make it easier to remember in the future.
If I had something to say that I was thinking about and that was keeping my attention from someone talking to me, if I noticed it happening, I would think about what the topic I was going to talk about was so that I would remember it and then I would set it aside in my mind while the other person finished their bit, listening to it. Then, when convenient I would try to remember what I was going to say which sometimes took time to do but my memories almost always would come through.
With practice, this made me a much better listener and I had better conversations.
One alternative though is talking to someone else who is on your level with the ADHD. It makes for awesome conversations!!
1/ 7/12 8:04am
I'm 19 and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I had a huge problem with that but I found that it could be helped. I don't know if what worked for me would work well for everyone but it is worth a try, nothing extreme.
Being conscious of the fact that you are talking too much is the first step.Try to remember that you are prone to do so and not notice when the other person is trying to talk. The more you remain aware and get used to seeing when the other person wants to talk, the easier and more natural it will become.
If you see that they want to talk and have an idea to finish, either find a way to finish it quickly which will give you an ending to achieve and stop rambling, or finish your sentence and think about the thought you need to finish for a moment so you remember it, and then let the other person speak. When they have said their bit, continue with your idea.
If I interrupted and noticed, I would stop, apoligize, and let them continue, reprimanding myself mentally which helps drive home the point so I will remember to be careful about interrupting naturally. Just like with any memory thinking about it for a second helps make it easier to remember in the future.
If I had something to say that I was thinking about and that was keeping my attention from someone talking to me, if I noticed it happening, I would think about what the topic I was going to talk about was so that I would remember it and then I would set it aside in my mind while the other person finished their bit, listening to it. Then, when convenient I would try to remember what I was going to say which sometimes took time to do but my memories almost always would come through.
With practice, this made me a much better listener and I had better conversations.
One alternative though is talking to someone else who is on your level with the ADHD. It makes for awesome conversations!!
1/ 7/12 8:05am
I'm 19 and was recently diagnosed with ADHD. I had a huge problem with that but I found that it could be helped. I don't know if what worked for me would work well for everyone but it is worth a try, nothing extreme.
Being conscious of the fact that you are talking too much is the first step.Try to remember that you are prone to do so and not notice when the other person is trying to talk. The more you remain aware and get used to seeing when the other person wants to talk, the easier and more natural it will become.
If you see that they want to talk and have an idea to finish, either find a way to finish it quickly which will give you an ending to achieve and stop rambling, or finish your sentence and think about the thought you need to finish for a moment so you remember it, and then let the other person speak. When they have said their bit, continue with your idea.
If I interrupted and noticed, I would stop, apoligize, and let them continue, reprimanding myself mentally which helps drive home the point so I will remember to be careful about interrupting naturally. Just like with any memory thinking about it for a second helps make it easier to remember in the future.
If I had something to say that I was thinking about and that was keeping my attention from someone talking to me, if I noticed it happening, I would think about what the topic I was going to talk about was so that I would remember it and then I would set it aside in my mind while the other person finished their bit, listening to it. Then, when convenient I would try to remember what I was going to say which sometimes took time to do but my memories almost always would come through.
With practice, this made me a much better listener and I had better conversations.
One alternative though is talking to someone else who is on your level with the ADHD. It makes for awesome conversations!!
1/ 9/12 1:43pm
I am going to go out today and purchase myself an opal ring. I will always wear it. To remind myself whenever I see it to be mindful of how much I'm speaking. Not sure if it will work for you but definately worth a shot.
4/24/12 10:13am
i try clay and mold. it helps me
bytheway i have adhd. i am jic member. i talk and talk every one asks me to stop so i get my clay and mold (if i have time)
5/ 5/12 2:31pm
Hi all,
I have found the best method is to limit contact with others- time alone is good and it allows you take time to look after yourself a little more...and time by yourself is really what is needed.
I talk excessively when I am stressing out. I find others- especially non ADHD/Dyslexics are often boring and non artistic and usually have nothing of interest to say whether you talk excessively or not. Another factor is quite possible that we become stressed in company when no one talks and so we make up for the other non talker!
I keep busy with music and even wear headphones to deter others from talking to me now. I find if you look busy others want to do the talking- usually asking you questions- often personal ones 
I like the tip about looking in the mirror and talking to yourself- I would take it further and when talking on the telephone look in the mirror and keep a timer on the phone -saves you money as well!
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By Sr. Carmelita— Last Modified: 05/23/12, First Published: 06/22/08
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Well, I have to say, how to stop talking much is going to be quite hard.
As a person with ADHD, I have been successful at minimizing the amount of talking by practicing to listen to another person. If your an extrovert, you probably have an easy time meeting new people. Meeting a new person and listening to what they have to say, without you chatting back alot can help. Listening one minute at a time is a good approach to reducint the amount of story telling on your part.
Mr. JP Excitement