How do I get my husband to be on one accord with me about my sons ADHD, his stepson. My husband doesnt see eye to eye with me on this. He thinks alot of my sons symptoms are excuses. I can't be effective when he doesn't help me. Is there anyone that can help me with this. He has a daughter that is not a child with ADHD, I think he thiinks that my son should be like her.
Q: How can I get my husband to help with my son who has ADHD? this is his step son.
Answers (2)
11/20/08 12:49pm
I know how frustrated you are. First of all you need to go to a support group for AD/HD find A CHADD (children and adults with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)
then take a parent to parent class that is made to help parents just like you that are dealing with the everyday chalanges that this disorder makes you face.I have six children and both my husband and I are formaly diagnosed with AD/HD and belive me when I say that I know exsactly how you feel.
you just have to rember that he has to be showen that it his a disorder.
out of the six so far four has been diagnosed and I know the other two have it just by there behaviors and how they act everyday they are just to young to have an official diagnosis for. Just rember to tell him (your husband ) that you love him too much to fight about this with him. and that you realy need him to be your partner and that you need him to understand just as much as you do.
11/20/08 11:19am
Hi there,
Not only is this "Streesful" it is also very "Painful" for us, isn't it? I am in the same type of situation, but he has raised my "our" son from 8 weeks of age. It seems as soon as there was an issue, things changed.
He also said he is just being "lazy" or he is making "excuses" He would NOT listen to me when it came to his diagnoses or any info I had gotten on this subject that would help us as a family!!
Finally, he took our son to practice, football practice, and was talking to one of the Mom's up there. She asked if he was ADHD. She had observed him on the field and his actions, her son was also ADHD and it seemed familiar to her. So he came home and said I talked to so & so, she explained it to me. I guess just because someone else observed it, it made it real. OUCH for me though!!
We also have alot of trouble with our son and his sleep. This morning before heading to the doctor's appointment for our son, he said "I'm going to ask him if he will pay for the Divorce" Seriously, I could NOT believe that came out of his mouth, definitely not the same person or I married!!! When the going gets tough, hit the road?!?!?!?!?
This is a BIG stressor on marriages, I am unsure as to why. To me, I'd think this os when you would pull together and do what is best for the child and the family, I can't even begin to comprehend why this would end a marriage. Apparently it had to be broken before this even happened.....We also have a daughter together and there is alot of comparing going on. One Day i mentionmed that he had gotten up and dressed way before he was suppose to and to praise him for it, all I got out of that one was, "Well, SHE does that every morning" Way over his head!! Men!! :)
It is hurtful and lonely when you don't have the support you need especially right where it is suppose to be, in the HOME!! I hope things work out for you!! All I wanted to do was to let you know that I understand what you're talking about and feel free to write me anytime if you need to talk, vent, whatever...ok?? I know where you feel as if tyou cannot be "effective" when you're fighting to get him to understand and you feel like you have to protect your son from the way your husband "Views" him.....But with one of you understandiing it, that's ALL it takes is for one person to start to change t hings, hopefully your husband comes around. Your son needs someone to help him though and that one person is you!! I know it is hard to break free from doing things "together" Who knows how long you may have to wait for him to come around, the earlier you seek help for your son, the better off he will be in the long run. Hopefully if you lead, he will follow!! Good Luck!!
Hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!
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By victoriahope— Last Modified: 11/02/10, First Published: 11/19/08
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