Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Friday, June 26, 2009 samlamb asks

Q: How do I deal with the emotional mood swings when things don't go his way?

My son now age 12 can have be very ugly verbily and pyscaily when things don't go his way.  His dad and I divorced when he was 3yrs and it was very ugly. For money reasons my fight for custody of him feel short. I saw him on weekends and 1 day though the week. Until 3yrs ago when I myself had a meltdown.  I got help but in doing so I had to relocate out of state.  His father has put all of these bad thoughts in his head when it came to me. Over the past 3yrs I have tried to spend time with my son I always made it point to visit at least every 3 months and on every visit was hell he was violet andjust verbliy ugly.  Up until now His dad stuck to the agreement of visitation. Now I have him for a whole month and I want to help him. He has been on Concerta since he was 6yrs old and is curretly at the max dose and has been since he was 9yrs. He is 5'5 and 211 pounds. How can I help him? I live in Palm Bay, FL and would like some insight on what to do?

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Answers (1)
Merely Me, Health Guide
6/27/09 11:39am

Hi there

 

You and your son have been through a lot!  And now he is of that age where he is transitioning into the teen years.  I cannot tell you this is going to be an easy time.  It surely will be very challenging.  And then add to this...your unique circumstances...wow.  You have a lot on your plate.

 

I know you want to help your son but a month is not going to cure all that has happened before this.  In my opinion, the best thing you can do right now is to re-connect with your son...spend time with him...get to know him.  There is no one thing which will take all the challenges away. 

 

How much support do you have?  Do you have people to talk to?  Do you have emotional support from any family or friends?  And do you have any professional support like a teacher, therapist, for your son.  Do you have a counselor or therapist for yourself?

 

I think with all that you have going on...it may be best to seek the guidance of a psychologist who is trained to help in such cases....one who deals with families.  You can't do this alone...it is too much for one person. 

 

Behavioral and dietary strategies may work but...they take a lot of time.  Here is a post I had written about meltdowns and here is one about the gluten free diet

 

But honestly...as I said before the best things you can do during this month are:

 

1.  Get some family counseling

 

2.  Connect with your son, enjoy him, love him, have fun with him.  Use this time to build your relationship.

 

Hope this helps some.  I wish you the best.

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By samlamb— Last Modified: 11/07/10, First Published: 06/26/09