I have 5 sons and 1 daughter. My oldest son sounds very similar to yours. My husband and I have tried every avenue available and nothing ever changed with the lies,drug use,college and total family upset. I am a Christian and always felt that I couldn't kick my son out on the street....asked myself always..What would Christ do?  I felt that we had taught our son to fish over and over...and he refused to change...he wanted everything given to him and he felt that as parents that we owed it to him.  We packed his things up and sent him on his way. We stopped paying for his car insurance, car payments that he could not make and his cell phone. I hurt daily knowing that he is living in some dive with friends...but...when he lived with us..WE ALL HURT DAILY!   Let your son know that you love him and that you have over exhausted yourselves with the efforts to help him and that now he is on his own. Send him packin! What he makes of his self and his life is up to him now.