I've definitely had add throughout my life, but I wasn't diagnosed until age 17. I am currently 21. I am prescribed 20mg non XR (up to 4 doses a day). After the first few months of medicating myself I had concluded that while adderall was helping my concentration/grades, it was also "taking my personality away".

Throughout the end of high school and for my first 2 years of college I only took adderall if I felt it was necessary. I wouldn't want to take it unless I really needed to study because it was causing me to feel unlike myself (super focused, non talkative, socially anxious). I figured that adderall made me feel this way because I was diagnosed and medicated so late.

For the past two years I have been internationally modeling. I am constantly traveling. Somehow I have slowly become dependent on adderall. I am currently taking more than I ever have, which ofcourse, means I am feeling more "unlike myself". I believe that I started to take my adderall more frequently because it suppressed my appetite and gave me energy, but that I have continued to take it for reasons that I am not exactly sure of. I will sometimes take 20mg 4times in a day. It's like I start in the morning and I don't want to stop, even though I know that I like myself better without adderall. I don't always take that amount.... and that is the amount my doctor recommends.

Okay so my question. I do have add and it does show (lateness, carelessness, always losing things). But when I take my adderall and go to my casting calls I feel anxious, nervous, my hands may shake, I just feel insecure. But without adderall, I am confident during auditions. So is there anything I can do to feel more like my usual self and in control? Basically, I want to feel less like I'm on adderall when I am on adderall.