1) Make a list of minor misbehaviors that might occur in your house. Work with your spouse to determine what the consequences should be for each action. If you feel it is necessary, you can write down consequences for 1st, 2nd and 3rd times. Make sure the consequence is something that both you and your spouse are willing to follow through with.
2) Plan for as many minor misbehaviors as possible. Keep a copy of the list so that both you and your spouse have access to it. Commit to following this chart and letting your children know that no matter who may be home, the discipline will be the same.
3) As you see additional misbehaviors add them to the list and discuss with your spouse the consequence.
4) If you see a pattern of misbehaviors for one child, turn the situation around to a positive reinforcement program and reward them for not engaging in the behavior rather than punishing them for the behavior.
5) Remember, try to change only one behavior at a time for each child, to prevent having them become overwhelmed.
Step Four: Planning for Major Misbehaviors
No matter how much planning you may do, it is inevitable that your child will find a new way to misbehave. Some of these are minor and even if not exactly on your list, will fit into a similar category. Some behaviors, though, are not minor and must not be overlooked.
1) Set up a system for what happens if there is a major misbehavior. Will your child need to remain in their room until you and your spouse have had a chance to discuss the appropriate reaction? There is nothing wrong with telling your child that you will discuss the behavior with your spouse and you will let them know later of their punishment. By doing this, you are letting your child know that whatever may come, you and your spouse are working together and are going to back each other up.
Step Five: Implementing the Plan
In order to fully work together, you and your spouse will need to divide up responsibilities to show your children that you are both involved in their daily lives. One of you may be better at helping your children with homework, while the other may be better at working with your children on daily chores. Use your strengths to divide the responsibilities up.
