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The Out Of Control Child

By Eileen Bailey

Parents often ask how to deal with and help the child that seems to be out of control.  How do you control or manage the child that intimidates, hits, punches and seems to enjoy torturing their siblings? What do you do with the child that argues, is defiant, and refuses to participate or follow directions can be difficult to live with and can create disharmony within the household?

Some parents are at a loss as to what to do and where to go for help.  They watch as their family life falls apart around them. They feel helpless as the defiant child controls the household. Parents argue with each other about what to do.  Some parents may be afraid to go for help. They might feel that poor parenting skills have caused the problems or that they have failed as parents. Often one parent will blame the other for being too easy and letting the child get away with poor behavior and the other parent will feel as if the other is too harsh

It is possible for parents to take control of the situation and help their child and their family.  But it is hard work and many times a long road.  

Believe In Yourself.  Parents know their children better than anyone. They see their potential, they see their strengths and they see their weaknesses. A teacher sees your child every day, but only in a certain location. They do not share the same history as a parent and a child. You may become frustrated watching your child misbehave, but you have also seen your child sit quietly next to you on the couch and read a book. You see both the good and the bad in your child, and sometimes it can be confusing. Believe in your assessment of the situation. If you see something wrong, and you feel as if there is some unknown cause behind the bad behavior, seek help. Believe in yourself as a parent.

Find A Support Group.  Most children can be a handful from time to time, however, raising a challenging child can make parents feel isolated and alone. They may avoid social situations, not sure how their child will react. When friends get together and talk about their children, and their successes, parents raising a challenging child may feel out of place and alone. Not wanting to always have to report the terrible thing your child did yesterday, you might stop contacting family. There are other parents going through the same situation. Support groups around the country and on the internet can provide an outlet for parents to share experiences and talk with one another. They can create a group to help one another through the rough days and feel accepted. They can create a ring of parents that can listen, understand and accept you and your child can do wonders in helping you to cope better at home.

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