- Mothers generally get the brunt of the emotional and physical abuse that a child with ADHD can produce, which is sadly ironic because the child tends to love the mother intensely and feel safe with her.
- Parents may have to give up on the idea of an immaculate house and a hot meal every night. (One advantage of a child with ADHD in the family is that the parents learn that they are not perfect, nor do they have to be. In fact, striving for perfection is among the most counterproductive goals to pursue in raising a child with ADHD, or any child.)
- Parents must face the hostility and anger of other parents and see their own child rejected. It is very easy to fall into an emotional black hole, and feel alone, inadequate, and helpless.
- Marriages are often stressed to the breaking point because of exhaustion and disagreements between the husband and wife on how to raise the child.
Effect on Siblings. Siblings of children with ADHD have particular difficulties, and are also at risk for psychologic impairment, depression, drug abuse, and language disorders. The non-ADHD sibling does not have the control a parent does in the management of the ADHD child's behavior and is very likely to feel alienated and alone. Children without ADHD are often victimized by siblings with ADHD who may be demanding or bullying.
A sibling who is not given attention in his or her own right may begin to imitate undesirable behaviors or to act out negatively in other ways. It is very important to make the brothers and sisters equally vital to the family's functioning. However, they should never be made to feel that their value in the family is as caregivers of the ADHD sibling.
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