Grill yours first. If you feel safe with what your host is preparing but still have concerns about the grill, gently ask your host to cook yours first before anything else has touched the grill. Alternatively your host could cook your food in a clean pan or on aluminum on top of the grill, which will minimize cross contamination.
Eat first, party later. It's not only about the food. If you are very sensitive or nervous about this kind of outing remember: you are at a party to socialize, eating in only one part of the fun at a BBQ. So you may just want to eat a safe meal at home and go for the fun and games. Or bring your own meal and eat on site something safe and yummy that you've prepared. Never succumb to feeling pressured to eat food you don't feel 100% safe about; no one wants you to be sick. And always better safe than sorry.
Above all remember you are there to have fun, to enjoy a lovely say in the sun and food is only one component, not the main event.
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