5.    Phone Home Ask an allergy mom where the phone is when she takes a shower, and 99% of them will tell you that it’s right outside the shower door. Most of us have gotten that call about an allergic reaction at one time or another. And when we’re leaving our child with a caregiver, our fingers have a mind of their own and we need to make that call to check in.  So when you are caring for your grandchildren, keep your phone within reach at all times.

6.    Serve it our way    You may have a swell idea about how to reheat little Johnny’s dinner but you did not realize that they spray you just put in the pan contained dairy.  You saw Alicia eating strawberry sorbet last month. You didn’t realize that the brand you purchased is processed on lines with butter pecan ice cream. Daniel’s noodles tasted so bland, you thought you’d add a little seasoning, not realizing that it contains wheat. Well-meaning people who are not accustomed to living with food allergies can easily make a dangerous mistake and put a child at risk. Hidden ingredients and cross-contamination have caused serious, even fatal reactions. Do yourself a favor, and serve your grandchild only the foods that his parents have approved and serve them in exactly the way they’ve asked.

7.    Emotions count  You may find yourself thinking that your son or daughter is going overboard with precautions or restrictions. Perhaps you believe that they could safely attend a family picnic, vacation or wedding. You may be right. But consider the family’s emotional heath and stress level, especially if the child was recently diagnosed. Sometimes the anxiety level in the home is so high, that it is just not worth all of the preparations and worry about an event.  Sometimes it’s better to decline a stressful invitation and keep the family safe and calm at home.  The emotional well-being of the family members is as important as their physical health.

8.    Get support for yourself   Recently, my mother explained that a good friend of hers was a tremendous support to her after my son was diagnosed. I’m embarrassed to admit that I actually thought “Why would you need support?”  And then the light bulb went off and I realized that my mother, my son’s grandmother, had also gone through the myriad of emotions that follows a scary diagnosis. Once you really grasp the severity of this life-changing medical condition, it can be overwhelming. So if you find yourself feeling  sad, or scared or grieving about your grandchild’s condition, get the help and support that you need from friends, your spouse or a mental health professional.

These tips are not a substitute for learning about food allergies, and how to avoid, recognize and treat an allergic reaction. However, if you show the willingness to become an informed caregiver, you will go a long way in alleviating the stress and allowing your son or daughter some much needed time off duty. Your concern will nurture and strengthen your relationship with the entire family. Isn’t that what grandparenting is all about?