My name is Bob and I am the sole caregiver for my mother who suffers from Alzheimer's disease.
One
of the biggest problems I face as a caregiver is keeping my mother
socialized. If it was up to her she would sit around all day in the
dark, rarely speaking. If you have experienced this you know how really
disconcerting this can be.
About two years ago, I decided to
take my mother out to the Banana Boat in Boynton Beach. The Banana Boat
is an outdoor restaurant on the Intercoastal Waterway. The "Boat" has
an outdoor restaurant and an outdoor bar where you can eat and listen
to live music. Since my mother rarely speaks when we go out to dinner,
I decided we would sit at the bar and eat. This would insure we had
movement and people talking around us.
My mother ordered chicken
wings and french fries, one of her favorites meals. My mother's eyes
almost popped out of her head when she saw "a big basket of french
fries". She was delighted. We had a very good time that night and I
decided to do it the next Friday night. Pretty soon we were doing it
most Friday nights.
After a few weeks, women started to come
over and talk to us. The attraction was an older man with his elderly
mother; they wanted to say how nice it was to see us. Keep in mind my
mother was 90 at the time. Of course, they were saddened to hear that
mom was suffering from Alzheimer's. Soon both women and men were coming
over to talk.
I should point out that the Banana Boat is the
kind of place that attracts many of the same people week-in-week-out.
Since we go around 6:30 we catch the happy hour crowd many of whom stay
until 8.
After a while, a small group of people started saving a
chair for my mother as they were expecting us. The first time we missed
a Friday one woman asked for our phone number and told me they were
worried about "mom" when we didn't show up. So they wanted to be able
to check if we hadn't told them we wouldn't be coming the next week.
Now we call to let them know if we are not coming.
As time went
on, our little group of friends started to get bigger and this turned
out to be a "God send". Each week, one by one these wonderful people
come up and start talking to my mother. She really enjoys this and her
attitude perks up right away. They treat her just like everyone else
and talk to her like she is one of the gang. This year a group got
together and took my mother to the casino to play slot machines on here
birthday. I cannot put into words how much this meant to mom and me.
My
mother loved to dance. So, each and every week I asked her if she
wanted to dance. Our new friends would also ask mom to dance--men and
women alike. I could tell that mom wanted to dance but she always said,
no. Mom is no longer confident around crowds or people she doesn't
know, so while her instinct is to dance her brain is telling her no. I
can tell you mom was never shy about dancing and she is a good dancer.
Last
Friday night, I asked mom if she wanted to dance. She said, no. But, I
could tell she really did want to dance this time. When we were getting
ready to leave, and as mom stood up, I started dancing with her right
on the spot. She was shaking it a little bit and had a big smile on her
face. By the time we were done people had tears in their eyes and
smiles as big as big could be. Wonderful people.
