No where to turn

Holly,

I am sorry your Mom has dementia. I guess your Dad is trying the best to care for her. It is very difficult to take care of a dementia person esp. if she is in moderate/severe stage. My father-in-law has moderate/severe Alzheimer's. He has always chewed his pills. He used to be an MD PhD but he just chews pills. I chew pills too because of my surgery when I was 19 (less space to swallow for me.) Anyway, for whatever reason, you cannot force her to swallow pills and you just need to put the pills in the sause or yogurt and she will chew the pills. For some capsules, the pharmacy may recommend to open it up and pour the powder over the food and give it to her.

You cannot expect her to swallow the pills, not to mention the  dementia patient will have harder time to swallow food in the future at late stage.

You can just put the pills in the sauce or food and give it to her. She does not even have to know these are medications. (My FIL knows it but he does not know which pill is what.)

Usually women are natural caregivers so maybe you can try to find a professional home health care caregiver or nurse to come to see her sometimes and bathe her. She would not be very clean unless the caregivers help her. A professional caregiver or home care nurse will show you how to take care of her.

If your Dad really cannot take care of her properly due to his old age and etc (this is normal for many couples), you should find out if you can get a caregiver to care for her. Living with her yourself is good idea but you will need some caregivers to help you or you will get very exhausted.

Take care,

Nina

I'm glad you came here to talk. I would call your local Alzheimer's group for some guidance. Most supply training and all give information that can help you and help your dad. This is very hard. Don't try to handle it without education and support.

take care,

Carol

Dear Holly,

You mentioned that your kids don't know what is going on with their grandma. I think it would help if you check this video below out:

http://www.hbo.com/alzheimers/grandpa-do-you-know-who-i-am.html

I got this link from Dorian Martin's answers in the question area.

Good luck,

Nina

 Nice to meet you, my name is Bill.

 I just want to comment on the making sense in a conversation part of your post. If and when you find the part that makes sense of any of this, (ANY).... Please fill me in.  I have been to countless seminars trying to help myself and mom. What i learned when comunicating is that it is not about what you want to talk about most of the time and even though your loved one with Alzheimers doesn't make "sense" it makes sense to give them the respect and listen to them and respond to them as if they did or are making sense!  Does this make sense???  lol   No matter what, dont tell them they are wrong for thinking what they are thinking..they dont and wont know the difference. This is more harder on the caregiver than the loverd one with AD....

 Trust me on this that we all have ideas on what works for us.. accept all the info as one day somebody just might have the idea that will work for you.. I know this to be true for me and I thank everyone for helping me care for my mom "and myself".

 HUGS to you my friend