My dad has AD and my mom takes care of him. I live about an hour away. I tried to get her to move next door to me and she refused. Now the house is sold. She is constantly calling me and I feel like I have to run every time she calls. I feel guilty if I don't. I want to be there for her but it would be easier if she lived closer.
She gets so stressed out. Then she gets angry with him. He can't help it but I know she is doing to much. I wish they were with me. I have tried to get her help but its not enough.
I don't know what to do.
It's too bad you mom wouldn't move, but I imagine the thought was just too overwhelming. Please don't feel guilty about this and don't feel you aren't doing enough. If you mom refuses help, she will have to cope until she is ready to give up.
She is used to you running to help and that's what she wants. That is fine in an emergency, but you live an hour away. You need to set boundaries. Go and help as often as you can. Go for emergencies. But make it clear that she needs more help than you can give, and you will assist in setting up that help when she is ready.
This is hard, I know. Don't let guilt eat at you. You are doing what you can.
Take care,
Carol
Thanks, I needed that. I am going there Monday and I am going to call her doctor and get her some meds for her nerves. I think that might help somewhat.
Yes, there are good anit-anxiety meds out there. This could help her.
Good luck,
Carol