I need help for my mother

Hi, Venise,

You're in a tough situation. It seems like everyone - except you and your cousin - is in denial about your mother's situation. The challenge becomes how to break through this emotional and mental logjam to do what's best for your mother.

Please know that I was in a similar situation with my parents (although without added weight of the adopted children). Although it wasn't easy to do, I eventually had to make the decision to stand up to my father and to say that my mother was going to come live with me (at that point, I was still thinking that she had mild cognitive impairment that hadn't advanced to Alzheimer's). Once she was with me and it became evident that her mental condition had significantly deteriorated, I was the one who asked the medical professionals to give Mother a geriatric psychiatric evaluation. This evaluation determined that Mom indeed suffered from Alzheimer's.

So I'd suggest that you call your mother's doctor and tell him or her what's going on with your mother. Ask how you can get your mother some sort of testing to determine what is causing her mental decline.

I'd also suggest that you contact your state's Alzheimer's Assocation to find out about resources you can tap into (including a support network in your area).

Also, do your parents have some sort of support network (possibly through a church)? If so, you may want to contact the minister and have a heart-to-heart about what's going on in your family and how the minister can provide emotional support through this difficult ordeal to the family (and especially to your father).

Also, as much as you want to take care of your mother, please remember to also take care of yourself! Make sure you sleep, eat and find time to relax because you are your mother's best hope for finding a solution.

Keep us posted!

Dorian

Hi

I can tell you that I am going through the same thing.  The difference is my Mother does not have children at home. My Father has Alzheimers and is in a Nursing Home. At first I thought my Mom's was depression.  She had an MRI and she has Dementia/Alzheimers.  She will be placed in an assisted living community that has an Alzheimers unit attached too it. That is where my Father is.  When the time comes she will be moved next door.  I had step brothers and sisters who stole my Mother's money, and it was pretty much the situation you are describing, but this was adults doing it. I live 1200 miles away, and finally my sister stepped up to the plate and helped.  One of the first things you need to do is speak with her Doctor.  You are going to need Social Services, and you definetely need to do some financial research. I am thankful that we obtained power of attorney before she got too bad.

The cost of care is astronomical.  Medicare does not pay for a nursing home. Medicaid will if she qualifys.  Do not wait until you are in a desperate state to begin this stuff. It takes time.  I would start with her Dr.

Then get her finances in order.  Take control of them.  Speak with a social worker about the kids..........One step, one day at a time.  But medical diagnosis is first.  They do have medications that do help.

Good luck too you.

Sherri

Slynn2892@aol.com