Important things to remember when visiting...
My mom is a never-ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon
"Mom doesn't know me anymore. It's too hard to see her walk away with the other residents. She doesn't even remember I visited."
Ever feel like that? Like the one person who is your touch stone to safety has no clue who you are? It can be a devastating feeling to experience. One day Mary's daughter, Sue, came in to visit. Mary kept referring to her as Joyce. Sue was becoming more and more upset by the minute. When I asked if she was okay she replied, "She is calling me by her sister's name. And she HATED her sister."
Sue was very upset and ended up leaving. A while later Mary walked up to me and said, "My daughter was here but I think she got mad and left."
The best piece of advice to remember when you are visiting a loved one with dementia is that the person with dementia may not remember you by name, but he/she will remember that you are someone important in his/her life.
My grandpa often calls me Becky which is my mom's name. He may get his facts mixed up about my life and her life, but when he tells me that he loves me I know it's real. Those are the important moments for me. And he feels better to have spent time with someone he loves. Try to focus on the abilities your loved one with dementia has rather than those that he/she might have lost.
For more information contact Katrina@alzcaregroup.com.
This is the dreaded fear that hangs over all of the caregivers and family that have a loved one with Alzheimers. Major changes have been taking place with my husband as he moves farther into this disease. This subject hits right at the fear I carry in my mind and heart each day I get up and open my husbands door. I think will he still be with me for one more day or did the congestive heart failure take him in the night all alone. I ease the door open and thank God he's still with me and then I wait for him to wake and wonder who will be here to day, the angry man I call the (stranger) or will it be my loving husband. Will he know me when I speak to him. Last week our younger granddaughter came over and she was here two hours and I noticed my husband acting funny, not wanting to upset set him I waited until he ask me who was the stranger in the house, when I said our granddaughter he looked confused and then said to me oh yes. He didn't talk to her any more and I know he didn't understand. I know the day is coming when he will wake and not know me, he struggles to stay with us but its as if it's a losing battle we are fighting. He has always been a huge Dallas Cowboy football fan, I ask him what he was watching on sunday and with him looking straight at the tv he could not get the word football out of his mouth. I knew with those to major changes that the worst was coming. I know as this disease progress he will lose more, just the thought of him not knowing me tears me up. I know he will always love me and that I will hold close. when he dosen't remember me I will hold our love in my heart and be the memory keeper. It will hurt when he forgets me I will tell him every chance I can that I love him and will love him through eternity and no matter what he says I will know we shared that one great true love. I know he has loved me and when he forgets it will be ok he dosen't have to say it or remember I will remember for both of us. No matter what this disease does it cannot take that away. Connie