Visiting Grandpa

Important things to remember when visiting...

My mom is a never-ending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being.  I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune.  ~Graycie Harmon

"Mom doesn't know me anymore.  It's too hard to see her walk away with the other residents.  She doesn't even remember I visited."

Ever feel like that?  Like the one person who is your touch stone to safety has no clue who you are?  It can be a devastating feeling to experience.  One day Mary's daughter, Sue, came in to visit.  Mary kept referring to her as Joyce.  Sue was becoming more and more upset by the minute.  When I asked if she was okay she replied, "She is calling me by her sister's name.  And she HATED her sister."

Sue was very upset and ended up leaving.  A while later Mary walked up to me and said, "My daughter was here but I think she got mad and left." 

The best piece of advice to remember when you are visiting a loved one with dementia is that the person with dementia may not remember you by name, but he/she will remember that you are someone important in his/her life. 

My grandpa often calls me Becky which is my mom's name.  He may get his facts mixed up about my life and her life, but when he tells me that he loves me I know it's real.  Those are the important moments for me.  And he feels better to have spent time with someone he loves.  Try to focus on the abilities your loved one with dementia has rather than those that he/she might have lost.

For more information contact Katrina@alzcaregroup.com.