Elder Abuse

Providing care for someone with Alzheimer's or another related dementia can be one of the most stressful events in a person's life.  Often, caregivers are the children of elderly parents requiring 24 hour care.  These adult children are not medical professionals nor do they have prior experience providing medical care.  The typical caregiver often has a job during the day and is "sandwiched" between raising a family and caring for their parents.

            According to the National Center on Elder Abuse, "between 1 and 2 million people have been injured, exploited or mistreated by someone on whom they depended for care or protection."  It is also estimated that only 1 in 14 cases of abuse are reported for investigation.  Nearly everyone would assume that caregivers described in the previous statistics are paid caregivers.  This is not always the case.  It is estimated that nearly 50% of all abuse reported is perpetrated by an unpaid caregiver, typically a family member.

            There are a variety of reasons caregivers become abusive to the aging senior for whom they are caring, especially if the individual has a diagnosis of dementia.  Often people with dementia experience personality changes.  A common statement professionals hear when interviewing a family caregiver is, "My dad was never like this before."  The person with dementia may refuse to bathe, eat, sleep, or even participate in activities he once enjoyed. Another common complaint is, "My mom asks me the same questions over and over."  Those repetitive statements and questions can be overwhelming to caregivers already burdened with tremendous responsibilities. 

Many times caregivers will say, "I don't know who I am anymore.  All I do, day in and day out, is take care of someone else."  Caregivers forget to take time out to care for themselves.  Often they don't know where to turn for help, or refuse to ask for help from anyone.

How does a caregiver avoid becoming abusive?  First, the caregiver must have a good support system.  Attending routine supports groups can provide opportunities to vent, ask questions, and receive advice.  It's important to realize that no one has to go through this alone.

Next, the caregiver cannot be afraid to ask for help.  Relying on other family members, friends, members of their church, and community outreach programs may provide support to give the caregiver respite.  Taking a break to care for one's self is vital to being fresh and alert in order to provide for needs of their aging senior.

Caregivers should take every opportunity to learn as much as possible about the needs of their aging senior.  For example, if a daughter is taking care of her father with Alzheimer's, she should attend sessions and seminars which provide education, information and insight for the "just right" care he needs.