My mother has had the symptoms of dementia for two years.  In the beginning, it was mild and manageable.  The dementia occurred in the aftermath of a stroke that might have gone unnoticed, except for the slight sag in the corner of her mouth.  Other symptoms developed as time passed and mom grew tired sooner in the afternoon.  She started going to bed earlier as a result and that created time distortion confusion.  She would make phone calls at 1:00 AM thinking that it was 1:00 PM in the afternoon.  This is how her dementia presented itself initially.  Later came the misplaced objects, repeated questions or comments and other obvious signs of memory loss.

In the last eighteen months a lot has changed.  Mom lost her ability to function safely in her home.  Between nearly blowing the door off of the microwave oven and having a lot of spoiled food accumulate in her refrigerator, it became very clear that changes were needed.  Reviewing the options and considering the costs, it seemed clear that an assisted living facility near my home offered the best care choice.  I talked mom into voluntarily moving in, something that she forgot about later and then accused me of forcing her to do.  Her mind was going through a lot of strange stages, the worst being delusions and halucinations.  Drugs were eventually effective in controlling those problems and mom did pretty well for about ten more months.  Her thinking was confused and she arrived at a lot of false conclusions, but overall she was content and reasonably happy.  I continue to visit her daily for at least two hours per day, a practice that I began the day she moved.  It seems to comfort her a great deal.

Mom is at the very end stage of her illness.  She has lost a great deal of weight and since February, has been unable to stand unassisted.  When she tries to stand, she has a fall.  Chewing and swallowing difficulties have caused the weight loss and weakness.  I continue to spoon feed her food items that she is able to chew and swallow.  Despite these measures, I find that she tires quickly and stops eating due to fatigue from the effort expended.  Mom doesn't want to be kept alive through mechanical or artificial means, so I just do my best to keep her going.  I am losing that battle and can see physical changes in my mom that signal the end is nearing for her.

I am grateful to Hospice for the things that they have done to improve mom's comfort.  Nothing that they are doing is to expedite my mother's passing.  These are all comfort measures and very good ones.  For one thing, they authorized the rental of a high/low bed.  This prevents strain when mom is transferred to or from the bed.  The bed also has a number of other positions besides up and down.  There are also short little removable half rails that will prevent her from falling out of bed.  An oxygen machine was ordered to assist her breathing and keep her mind as clear as possible.  There is also an oxygen bottle on standby, should that be needed.  Numerous supplies have been purchased by Hospice including incontinence items, gloves, wipes and toothettes for clearing food particles from the mouth.  Without Hospice, these items would be minimal for lack of recognizing the need for them.  They have been helpful and Hospice has paid for them.