Loving Daughter

By Regina Wednesday, March 25, 2009

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My Mother turned 80 years old on April 7, 2008 and I see a big difference in her. I am one of nine children and I don't know how my mother has kept her faith, hope, and love all these years. She has lost her son age 27 killed by a train, a son by suicide (2005) and Michael age 51 (2007) from cancer. She just changed so much. I don't know how much pain she is in but I see that she is very frustrated looking for words and asking the same question to me at least 15 times a day. I answer her like it the first time she asked. I live with her and I sometimes feel over my head. I know this is going to be an up road experience for me. She just went to the Therapist for an evaluation and the Doctor said that her short term memory is pretty much gone. I still am awaiting for Doctors report. I guess what I trying to say that I am in denial and I am scared.

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Leah, Health Guide

3/26/09 5:11pm

I can hear the pain, Regina. Unfortunately, I can't be of much help as I am pretty much in the same place as your mother, though maybe not as advanced. I have almost no short term memory. I am amazed every day at what I don't remember. If you've read some of my blogs, I know you know what I'm talking about. Your mother is very fortunate to have such a loving daughter at her side. I can only imagine the drain it is for you--as it is for my husband--having to deal with someone with almost no short term memory. It's a funny disease--we look almost normal and can relate with others in an almost normal way, but just don't ask us a question about something that happened in the recent past! I suggest that you get out of the house and do fun things with your friends on a regular basis, to re-energize yourself. Also, ask her doctor about Aricept or other drugs which help with dementia. Lastly, keep reading this site. There is invaluable support here. God bless you, Regina, and your mother.

Leah

butterflies88

3/29/09 5:22pm

I know what your'e going through. I know that mom is going to get worse and it scares me too. I try to keep my faith in tack and know that God will be with me. I hate to see mom like this it's not fair to her. I hope I go to heaven before that happens.

sojourner

3/30/09 8:36pm

Dear Regina,

I am very understanding of your present emotional state and your concern for the decline in your beloved mother's short-term mem-

ory loss, for I experienced this with my late mother. As I recall, the repetitive questioning phase, though quite distressful at the time it endured, did not last more than a few months, in my mother's case. She then seemed to have regressed to a point that she probably did not remember the SUBJECTS about which she had so frequently been so curious, as she no longer seemed to initiate questions.

So, please, for your own peace of mind later, consider that you could now be in a precious time during which she now can understand you as you speak in the present, at least. I would suggest that you say all the things that might otherwise cause you to later say, "Oh, if only I could have told her . . . (this thing or that thing). You will both be better for you heeding my suggestion.

I would love to be able to hold you and we could cry on each other's shoulders, for I have been where you are and where you will be. As you walk this road, you will step in the footsteps made by many daughters before you - and, sadly, many will walk in our shoes (including my daughters) until this hateful thief is apprehended. God be with us all.

Love,

Sojourner

Regina

4/16/09 11:18am

Dear Sojourner: Thank you for the reply to my note. I really appreciate all the support that I get from you and all the rest of the people that responded. I have been very tizzy with Mom she was at the local store with me a few weeks back and she just ca-lapsed. The store clerk called 911 and she was taken to the hospital ER. She had a MRI, cat scan and pocked here their and everywhere. The hospital admitted her and she was at the hospital for a week. We needed to be with her 24/7 as she experienced sun down. This happened as I was told from the nurses that she was not sleeping and kind of ,hallucinations and confusion. She was hooked to an IV which Mom pulled out. She was also given an ammonia shot which turn out to be very inflamed which also turned into a staff infection. She is back home with me and OT,PT and Nurse come almost everyday. Her pulse has been running very low (48 -62) and her blood pressure drops very low when standing. So I am just trying to make sure that she is getting her food, memory exercise, nice walk and plenty of water. She has a doctors appointment on Monday but for day we are going to enjoy this beautiful spring day and take a walk to the park. God Bless

Loving Daughter

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