My father has early onset alzheimers. I have 3 siblings and we are working together in amazing ways to figure out next steps.
But, as you would expect, we aren't always in agreement. And we don't know how to express disagreement.
I've been feeling emotional about all of this lately and sense it from everyone. I feel strongly about certain things and don't know the best way to communicate them. Email and talking on the phone aren't working any more. It would be great if we could clear the air. Ideally, a third party facilitator would be best. Does anyone have any suggestions along these lines?
You are exactly on the right track. If your family has a common spiritual leader, that is a good choice. If that isn't the case, and there is a geriatric care manager in your area, they can be helpful. Otherwise, counseling may help. You may want to click on this link http://www.healthcentral.com/alzheimers/c/62/67816/conflict-mediation/2 and read about family problems.
It's very common for families to disagree, for the very reason you mention. Emotions and disagreements on care for the parents are just part of the picture. Third parties can be very effective in breaking deadlocks. Sometimes, even a good friend of your parents can help, but that would mean respect for this person from all siblings. I don't know if you have that.
Good luck with this. It's hard, I know.
Carol