Seriously now --- when I read over my recent journals, I really do make myself sick---- sick of me!  Gratefulness for what I have in life does not live in those journals --- rather, I sound like the biggest whiner in the world.  The truth of the matter is that while I do indeed have issues to deal with, what I really have is a most amazing life -- one to reflect upon and one to live right now at this very moment.  Yes, Alzheimer's is difficult to live with for both the person afflicted and the caregiver, but it is certainly possible to carve out a meaningful life even within the confines of the disease for both people involved.  For example, I have the most incredible family --- healthy (Yes!), loving, supportive, and I could go on and on. Our children have grown up to be wonderfully compassionate people, contributors to the world.  Their children are being reared lovingly and carefully, with good discipline and are well on their way to growing into the same kind people that abound in our family.  I have three close sisters who have been right beside me every step of the way in my journey with Dick.  They love me dearly and would do anything they possibly could to support me including listening to me babble on and on about this or that difficulty of the moment.  I have nieces and nephews and friends who are there for me and there for Dick --- what in the world do I have to complain about.  And yet, especially upon reflection of my recent journals, that is all I seem to do.  I leave out the majority of my day, which is really quite okay.  I love retirement; I have time to enjoy the hobbies I rushed through while working; I find great joy in making Dick smile --- more often than not,I have a joyful life and one I should most definitely be more thankful for. 

I'm going to make a change in my attitude. Mushy as it might sound, I am going to begin and end each day with the recollection of the joys I have in such abundance.  I will continue to share some of the hardships I face with Dick because I believe it is healthy to do so, but I am no longer going to let those difficulties dominate my thinking and my conversation with others.  By comparison to many who truly have it hard, I'm good --- really good!  This may sound Pollyanna -- but having that label attributed to me is nothing new in my life. So here's to the end of my pity parties --- wish me good luck!!