My Grandmother has Alzeimers and I'm having a hard time.

Hi, Vivian,

I am so sorry about your grandmother; she's very lucky to have you to help her.

In reading your sharepost, several questions and issues come up. Hopefully, my feedback will be helpful. Here goes:

1. Reaction to medications - You didn't mention if your grandmother is taking other medications beyond Aricept. If so, these also may be to blame for some of the health issues your grandmother is experiencing. I would suggest that you call your grandmother's general practitioner and explain what you are seeing. Perhaps the doctor has suggestions of what can help stop the nausea, cramps, etc.

2. Your grandmother's forgetting about things that have happened in the past - Unfortunately, this can and will occur. As her Alzheimers progressed, my mom always was trying to find her father and mother, saying she had just seen them when they both had died over 20 years ago. My best advice to you is to roll with the punches and don't argue with a loved one with Alzheimer's who says something that is inaccurate. In the case of my mother, I just said that I hadn't seen Grandma or Grandpa today and I hoped they were doing well, and then I moved the conversation to another topic that we both could enjoy. I wrote about this technique using a different example in the blog, Learning to Deal with Mom's Distorted Reality.

3. Safety - You mention that your grandmother takes about 50 trips down a country road every day. I would caution you that at some point, she may not remember how to get back to the house and will wander off. Therefore, you need to figure out how to limit her mobility so she doesn't endanger herself.

3. Assistance - I am not sure how to respond to this one, other than I do believe you need help with your grandmother. I guess what I would suggest is that you need to think about identifying the best place for your grandmother, where she will be safe, secure, and taken care of. It would be great if you can find some assistance that would allow you to have help at your grandmother's home. However, at some point (possibly soon) you may have to make the difficult decision to move her into a nursing home or assisted living situation. Please know that I know how you feel. My mom's worst fear was having to be placed in a nursing home, and I really didn't want to have her there. However, her mental capacity had deteriorated so much and I was so afraid that she would wander. Plus, I could not manage her prescriptions and other health issues (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). Also, I had to consider that while I felt I needed to keep caregiving for Mom as a primary focus, I also had to keep my life afloat professionally, personally, and financially, which I wouldn't have been able to do if Mom had lived at home with me. In retrospect, I know that I was able to be a much better caregiver for Mom when she was in the nursing home and I also was able to ensure that my critical needs were met as well.

I hope this helps! Take care and stay in touch!

Dorian

Thank you for your comments.

You mentioned Medications.  I was a pharmacy tech for 7 years and I can't really see what any of her other medications could be causing.  There's potassium, Bumex, Lipitor, and Prilosec.  After I posted this, the doctor prescribed Ativan .5 mg.  He's already up-ped the dosage to 1 mg.  It seems to calm her down a little and she only makes a few trips out the road now.  It really doesn't do much for her sleep though.  She sorta has vivid dreams when she sleeps now but so far they have been good dreams.  Her mother had alzeimers too and they tried her on some medication and she hallucinated snakes.

I know one of these days I will have to put her in a nursing home.  I promised my grandfather before he died that I wouldn't do it until I had to.  I'm not too concerned about anything else really except fulling that promise as best I can (and her safety and wellbeing, of course).  I just freak out a little every now and then and need some where to vent it all out.  Sometimes I just cry because I'm the only one to do this.  LIke I said, my uncle can't stay out of jail and his children are 15 and 9.  My mom passed away 5 years ago and I know she could not have coped with this very well anyway.  But I just try not to feel sorry for myself and do what needs to be done to get through another day.

Thanks again for commenting!

Vivian

Vivian,

My mother has Alzheimer's and I have been taking care of her for almost five years. It's esay for me to understand how you might be feeling. I hope you will find the following advice helpful.

1. Dial 211

2-1-1 is an easy to remember telephone number that, where available, connects people with important community services and volunteer opportunities.

Every hour of every day, someone in the United States needs essential services -from finding an after-school program to securing adequate care for a child or an aging parent. Faced with a dramatic increase in the number of agencies and help-lines, people often don't know where to turn. In many cases, people end up going without these necessary services because they do not know where to start. 2-1-1 helps people find and give help.

You can learn more about 211 by clicking this link 211 What is it?

2. Find out the location of you local Alzheimer's Association office. Call and ask to speak to a social worker. They are wonderful and full of information. You could also consider joining a support group. Please don't dismiss this idea out of hand. You would be amazed what you can learn from others that have similar experiencing. If nothing else you will lean this, "you are not alone". Use this link to find if their is an office in or around your community. Alzheimer's Association Community

3. Find out if you have a local senior center or faciltiy. They usually have social workers on staff that really know their stuff. Do the same thing, call and ask for a social worker.

4. If you live near a University call and see if they have a Wellness Center or a department that specializes in aging or memory loss.

I did all of these things during the first year and I was amazed how many wonderful, caring, helpful people I met.

An additional important piece of advice: have your personal physician check for hyperthyroidsim. Often overlooked, hayperthyroidism can present as Alzheimer's or dementia. I am not trying to get your hopes up but this is a must and many personal physicians are unaware of this.

I would also suggest that you contact Medicare right now. Don't wait. They can be a bit cold but if your grandmother qualifies you can get important benefits.

Good luck and hang in there.

Bobby

My husband has mild dementia and his sleeping pattern sounds like your grandmothers. He goes upstairs at 10:00pm but when I get there after midnite he is still sitting on a chair in the bathroom. Sometimes he nods off to sleep. Often he gets up at an early hour and goes downstairs. I am sleeping so I only hear the 4:00 am bathroom break. He is often confused when he gets up at 2:00 in the morning and thinks he should go down for breakfast. He does wear several layers of clothing , even when the weather is in the 8o's. He won't do what I ask even though I plead with him. He want to drive the car. The doctors say it is ok. The doctors do not support me when I ask them to stop his driving. As he falls asleep during a ride or when speaking with others, I concider this a very bad thing. He walks about a mile a day alone on the street. He does come home. His appetite is tiny but I do make him meals. He won't go anywhere except his son's house, the supermarket, or the drug store. I am at my wits end. I don't know how to handle this. I am very upset with his behavior. There appears to be no one to call for help. What are you doing to keep sane. You are a wonderful person to help your grandmother. Please help me.