Today has been a very sad day. I had to put Granny in the nursing home. I had thought and prayed about this decision for 2 weeks and nothing else came to me. Last Thursday Granny woke up very very confused. She was seeing things, hearing things, very agitated, running herself to death trying to figure out what she was hearing, wanting me to take water and sandwiches out to a ball team outside. We had had bad days before. She had been confused on Wednesday but nothing like Thursday. She talked to a lamp for 2 hours. She was like that on Thursday, Friday, and all day Saturday. I called the ambulance on Saturday night to take her to the hospital. I figured if I had been seeing things that I would want someone to get me checked out. After the Doctor examined her he admitted her for observation. Then on Sunday I discussed the nursing home with the Doctor. He said that yes, it is time for her to go. She had really given them a fit the night before. No one had really ever seen her act like that except for me.
Even though I knew it was coming since Sunday it really hit me hard today when they came in and told me she was going in about an hour. I sat there and cried and cried. Even though the Doctor, Nurses, my family, and everyone tells me that I am doing to right thing I still feel bad. It's hard to have the tables flip flopped and have to make a decision for someone who has told you what to do your whole life. I feel bad that I couldn't keep her at home. I also feel bad that I'm the one who had to make such a difficult important decision.
But, that's all today. I'll update on how she's settling in to the nursing home.
Thank You,
Vivian
