Hi Dorian I just read you response to Hazel. I wrote her and welcomed her to this site and have encouraged her to keep talking you all have helped me so much.

I am also taking your advise as it is getting increasingly difficult to reach Ray and I have to keep answering the same questions. The bridging is an awesome Idea which I will begin using today. Thank you so much.

We have a new home health care nurse and I think this one is going to be great she is younger but seems to have a better idea of how to handle him. Thursday he had his first maniac episode. He got up very early which is unususal for him and was dressed and ready to go some place but got angry because he wasn't sure where he was going. Usually when he becomes angry I can talk him down but not this time. I did something I had never done before. I got my purse and left the house. My next door neighbor is an RN I went and told her what was happening and she told me to go for coffee. You can see Rays room from the front window so she positioned her husband outside where he could watch him to make sure he didn't try to leave or harm himself. I got a call from them telling me he had undressed and went back to bed and fell back asleep and it was as if he had been sleep walking only in a wheelchair.

I returned home to find him asleep I woke him to take his meds and he went back to sleep at ten I had to wake him again for his breathing treatment. He didn't actually wake up and start his day until after eleven. I had checked his vitals everything was in normal range and when he finally woke it was as if he remembered nothing. He is back to his same sweet loving self. I was so releaved I feared I would have to have him hospitalized for him becoming so angry and his first episode of violence. He didn't hurt me physically but he really scared me. He has been the same as before. My guard is up now as I know he is moving into a different stage. He ask me before he started getting bad if he ever hurt me to promise I would have him hospitalized. I pray it dosen't come to that but now know it is a very real possibility.

Again thank you for the wonderful suggestion. Your friend Connie

Hi Hazel

Your email to me got sent to a friend that forwarded it to me. I am really sorry you are going through such a rough time. It sounds as if our husbands are about at the same stage.

I am very glad you have the respite care. You need the time away. Hazel it's very difficult not to get upset and angry with our husbands even though we know they have this disease. We are the prime targets for all their anger and feelings. We are the ones here 24/7 and so that's why we catch it all. I find myself counting to ten before I respond for the 100th time to the same question. Have you tried the bridging yet? Try to change the subject when he gets on a sensitive issue or keeps making demands. It's OKAY to walk away for a minute to get yourself together don't keep beating your self up over something you cannot control.

You have to learn to pick your battles. If it's important having to do with like medicial, hygiene, eating or medication try staggering all of these. It is hard but you can regain control. You cannot get him on a schedule but you can make your schedule more manageable for yourself.

My granddauther is the only one I have to help me besides the Home Health Care Agency. Saddly the rest of the family has said it is just to hard to see him like this. Well DUH these folks need to get a clue it is hard and they are just making it harder for the alzheimers patient and the care giver. Yes their memory fails when they don't come around but you need to try to get them if possible to see that you are still there and can use their support.

Please feel free to ask me anything if I can help I will be happy to. I hope the little I have told you will help some. I am on the computer from about 2:00am Texas time until around 8:00. I am not a professionial just another wife sharing the trials of our husbands having Alzheimers. I check my mail periodically during the day. Please write and keep venting it helps. You can vent to me. I was were you are until I found this site. You have to talk and it really helps to talk to someone who is going through the same things you are. I will be here for you. The more you say the easier it will get, you won't be judged. That was one of my biggest fears that I would say I am so angry at him and someone would tell me I am horrible. That will not happen on this site I promise. Take out your frustrations on the keys of your computer.

Your friend Connie

Please write any time

My husband also has Congestive Heart Failure. He has started waking me before he will go to sleep, he is afraid he is going to die in his sleep.