Dorian,
It is so true that the dementia patient gets negative long afterwards even if he/she forgot about the exact experience. e.g., my father-in-law has now felt the hospital is out to kill him. The first time he felt so was last year in Jan. 2009. After that, for at least 8 months, he talked about dying. Now he talks more about dying because he is sick. But this kind of feeling does not go away for long. The happy moments when friends came were long forgotten right away!!
He remembers the happy moment if we go back to see him again and he would say he remembered we were in the house and etc. But for the negative dying thing, he is holding on to it.
It is sad indeed - just remember the bad part...
Thanks for the post,
Nina
I don't believe that it is just people with brain issues that do this. I remember having a bad dream about my ex-husband when we were still together. Even though I knew in my head that he hadn't really done anything wrong that day (I did say he is my ex), I was angry with him all day and just couldn't shake it. Everytime I looked at him I just wanted to smack him! I believe that it is possible that this phenomena is possibly connected to the part of the brain where we hold grudges. We are strange creatures and the saying is true that 99 'atta boy's' can be wiped out with just one 'awe shucks'. It's because we focus on our flaws so much and believe the bad things that are said and done and many people just find it hard to accept compliments and believe the good things people say. We focus on the negativity when we are clear thinking, why wouldn't it be magnified when our memories begin to slip away? I believe it's just the nature of the beast.
It is so true we always remember the trauma in our past. However I believe the difference here is that we are in the real world, while the dementia elders are in their delusional world. We are saying for one negative emotion or moment, the elder with dementia will keep thinking this moment is still true and lasting at the current time when he is negavtive about that past moment thinking it is real for now.
The delusion makes the difference. But you are right, we always seem to remember the worst and forget the best. It seems one can remember the nightmare so much more than the nice dream because it is so haunting.
It is a good point.
Regards,
Nina
Thanks Nina, yes I agree. I believe that people with dementia can actually get trapped in a world of fear because they can't remember the reality that goes with the emotion. That must be a very uncomfortable place to be.
My earlier comment was basically trying to figure out why we would tend to go to the more negative side, and I think it is because those are the feeling that affect us the deepest. We all have hurts that are so deep from someone somewhere that we just can't seem to completely release. When we begin to feel fear and anger, we have our reasoning to make sense of it.
It reminds me of when my mother had the stroke that killed her and that feeling of complete panic while trying to get to the hospital. Months later, I found myself reliving the panic when I would pass some arbitrary landmark that would remind me of that drive. It was like it was happening all over again and I was even crying. But then I was able to realize that I had just been overcome with a moment of grief. I can't imagine how sad it would be to feel that and have no idea where the emotions came from or know of any way to alleviate them. It's no wonder they would retain the painful emotions longer than happy ones. Emotions like that don't just go away because someone tells you something funny or distracts you in some other way. Pain is much deeper and more personal.
It's an interesting study and I think can be helpful for caregivers to understand the emotions that they frequently are faced with for no apparent reason.
Take care,
Diane
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I've seen similar situations to what you describe, Dorian. Thanks for giving us this informative article to back up what many of us suspected.
Carol