Dorian seems to have a good grasp on her situation. I have no doubt she is an excellent caregiver. Do you have any suggestions for those of us who are approaching caregiving days? Any pre-work? ********************************************** Hi, John - I am sure that you will do equally in caregiving as well as you seem to be a very thoughtful guy. As for pre-work, the first decision that you'll have to make is to determine when you'll step into a caregiving role with your loved ones. I really struggled with this timing and hit heads with my parents on this topic starting around early 2002 since their health issues were emerging; however, they didn't want any help at that point. Because my parents and I continued to clash on the topic of caregiving, I took advantage of a professional counselor in 2003 to discuss this situation. He suggested that I had two choices - to continue to try to step in (even though the type of help that I wanted to give was unwanted) or to wait until my parents asked for help. In describing his own situation in caring for his aging parents, the counselor said he realized that his parents wanted to be treated as adults and remain in control of their own lives as long as possible. That conversation helped me realize what I personally would want - my own independence for as long as possible - so I took that position with my parents. Although that decision changed the dynamics within our family (and increased the discomfort on my parents' side since I wasn't acting in the way they were used to), I think that decision relieved some of my own stress. It also enabled me to hear my mom's call for help when it did happen in late summer 2005 and I was able to take action. I would also suggest that you build a "coalition" with siblings and other relatives now so you can use the power of the group to influence your parents. It's that tag-team approach that proved very beneficial for me since I had back-up, especially from my brother and cousin, when I needed to have a tough conversation with my parents. Finally, I would begin to look for resources on caregiving. Check out AARP's website which has some good information. There are numerous books on aging and caregiving that are thought-provoking and can help you make a plan of what you'll need to do - and what questions you need to ask (medical history, finances, etc.) - when the time is right. Good luck! Dorian