Mourning isn’t easy to go through, but what if you’re mourning a loved one’s death that you can’t acknowledge publicly? Researcher Dr. Kenneth Doka and grief counselor Mary McCambridge recommend that you need to make time to grieve the passing of these loved ones instead of bottling up feelings in “Mourning Becomes Neglected,” published in the February 2009 issue of O Magazine.
An example of this type of mourning cited in the article could be an ex-husband who passes away. The ex-wife’s friends may not understand why grieving matters to the ex-wife. And although not stated in the article, this scenario could easily involve the ex-husband having Alzheimer’s disease and not remembering the marriage to the ex-wife.
McCambridge warns that avoiding grieving can leave a person with intense feelings that can lead to deep resentment as well as to the possibility of illness. To avoid these responses, McCambridge and Doka recommend the following:
- Recognize that your feelings are legitimate.
- Identify support groups and reach out to them.
- Honestly express how you feel about the loss.
- Create a ceremony or ritual to mark the loved one’s passing.
It is important to mark the deaths of people you have loved. Please take the time necessary and find the support that you need in order to grieve a loved one, no matter what others may think.
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