Monday, April 30, 2007
As our family grapples with the decisions about Mom’s health, most recently with the feeding tube decision, I find that I am resigning myself to thinking about “when" Mom dies. We know that Mom’s lungs are failing and that her mind is becoming increasingly confused. We also know that Mom would not want to live this way; she was adamant with my father, brother and myself for the past 15 years about what she wanted if and when she reached this situation. I (and the rest of my family) want to honor her wishes.
As hard as it is to face, I also find that by using the word “when” in relation to Mom’s death, I can reflect on the impact she has had on this world as a whole, as well as the impact on individual members of our family. By doing so, I also find that I am able to start getting closure on Mom’s life, even though she hasn’t left us yet.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 provides some comfort as I think about Mom's situation. The message is timeless in illustrating the transition Mom will be making soon:
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
I choose to use the time that I have remaining to love Mom and to realize that her death is fast approaching. When it comes, I hope to have the strength to realize that it is time to let her go. And I want to honor her wishes in that it’s not a case of “if”; instead, it’s a case of “when.”
For More on End-Of-Life Issues, please read:
