Depression Prevalent in Caregivers of Loved Ones with Dementia

Compounding the problem, oftentimes friends and family who are not directly involved with the caregiving don’t know how to give the support a caregiver needs. They may be emotionally unable to handle the stressful situation and back away, causing the caregiver to feel even more isolated and depressed.

By making a list of those who are willing to help and a list of chores needing to be done, a caregiver can ask friends and family to pick the tasks they feel most comfortable with. If hands-on caregiving is too stressful, there’s always things like: cleaning, organizing, fixing things around the house, organizing the pantry, attic and garage, taking the car in for service and having the tires rotated, grocery shopping, cooking meals for the freezer, tending the garden, having clothes mended, taking the patient to have their hair done, or simply taking the caregiver out to lunch.

ADULT DAY CARE
Enrolling an elderly loved one in Adult Day Care provides several hours of respite for an overwhelmed caregiver and is often the best thing for the patient. Their day gets filled with social interaction and activities lead by healthcare professionals trained to work with them. It takes a couple weeks, but soon they’ll enjoy participating in the singing, dancing, cooking, games, crafts, bingo, movies, current events, lectures, exercise, etc. The caregiver gets a much needed break enabling them to have better coping skills later when their loved one comes home again. Additionally, all the activities tire the patient out, helping them to sleep through the night instead of being a “sundowner” and up all night with an exhausted caregiver.

RISK OF ELDER ABUSE
Caregivers who make sure they take breaks from their responsibilities may be saving themselves from reaching a “breaking point” and committing elder abuse—even though they never dreamed they could ever cross that line. When a cranky nasty loved one becomes unappreciative of the extraordinary efforts being made to care for them, says the most hurtful demeaning things, accuses the caregiver of stealing from them, hits, spits, throws things, and pushes the caregiver to their absolute limit—the elder abuse line can be crossed even in very subtle ways. Instead of gently sitting their loved one down in a chair, the angry caregiver may suddenly be inclined to just let the person “flop” down in the chair in retaliation for a momentary punishment. Of course, the result is guilt which leads to more depression and desperation.

SUPPORT GROUP A MUST
The realization that a once-competent loved one is no longer who they used to be, even though still physically there, can cause profound feelings of sadness and loss. However, when caregivers attend a support group regularly and learn creative solutions and coping strategies during brainstorming sessions with others going through similar experiences—they tend to feel less alone and often report lower levels of depression.