Every state in the US has a State Unit on Aging, with the states divided up into Area Agencies on Aging, mandated by the Older Americans Act back in the '60's. The agencies provide a plethora of community supports, in-home assistance at lower rates than for-profit organizations (based on 125% of the federal poverty level) on sliding fee scale. Many people who are uprooted by well-meaning family and/or physicians who could be very well supported for much longer in their own home, where everyone given the choice would rather be! Don't discount the possibility of aging in place! Also most, if not all, states have Medicaid programs that can help those with low income. Another program called Medicaid Waiver is specifically designed to put services into the home rather than paying for nursing home care...it's less costly and people are much happier at home. Mood and state of mind have much to do with overall health and well-being.
Please don't tell caregivers to jump on the institutional band-wagon when you haven't even researched the alternatives.
Thanks A., yes, those are all such excellent points! <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" ?>
I think everyone wants to stay in their own home as long as possible and the family should exhaust all possibilities for accomplishing that. I think it all comes down to if it can continue to be right and safe for the entire family to do so.
In my case, I took care of two parents in their own home myself for a year, and then with the help of two marvelous live-in caregivers, I managed everything long-distance for four more years. I believe the stress was so severe for me, it contributed to my immune system being so compromised that I developed invasive breast cancer and a deep dark depression. Had I only known then what I know now—I would have known how to do everything so much better.
When the patient's continued safety is in question--and the stress of caregiving threatens the physical and emotional health of the rest of the family, it is time to lift the guilt of placing a loved one in a facility and know how to carefully evaluate the options.
Sometimes when the parents stay in their own home they become completely isolated. Yes, they are in the house, but is it really the best home for them if the only people they ever see are their caretakers? This can also be more of a burden on the caretaking children if they are also the only companionship for the parents. I want to be there for my parents and in-laws, but I also believe that each of us cannot be everything for another person.
In my case, my mother in law has Alzheimers and her husband leaves her home alone all the time. I think assisted living would be good for them both--half the time they don't eat, and they lie about it to us, and don't even eat the food we bring them. Some of the siblings say they don't want them to go to assisted living because Mom will need to be in a nursing home before long. I feel that they could handle leaving their old home better, if it was sooner and they had each other for support. Can a person with Alheimers even go to Assisted Living or is that not safe for the patient? I appreciate any comments you all have.