whattodo

Health Interests

whattodo has not shared any health interests.

Drugs I am Taking

whattodo has not shared any drug information.

About Me

I have been married 20 years this June (2008).  I have a son 17 and a daughter 12.  My dad, who I was very close to, died, in my arms, just he and I, on December 1, 2007.  He was in the hospital from Oct. 7 until the day he died.  I visited him everyday.  I still miss him terribly.  I took over full time, 24/7 care of my mom on Dec. 14.  My brother and his wife were living with her while dad was in the hospital.  He had my dad's credit card and was using it for his gas, food, eating out, everything.  However, he also felt the need to take $700 in rent money from the rental house my mom and dad own.  He took it for November.  I was my dad's Power of Attorney and I am my mom's also.  When my brother decided to take December's rent too, I told him to move out.  For some reason he felt the need to get paid to look after mom, on top of already having all his expenses paid for.  So, he didn't even call her on Christmas day!  Since Dec. 14 he has only watched her for one week in February.  He is also a drinker and when he drinks he gets mad and mean.  I am afraid of him.  I don't trust him.  Since he and I don't get along, when he does call mom on the phone, he tells her how evil I am.  She won't remember in the long run but it does agitate her.  His daughter lives in the rental next door and when he is there he doesn't even stop in to say hi.  He told me that mom won't remember anyway and he's in a hurry.  I have another brother who was lving with my mom and dad for the last couple of years but he had brain surgery for cancer in Oct. 2007 and is still recovering.  So, I am on my own.  I love my mother very much.  It's just so hard to do this alone.  My family has been a great help and is very understanding.  I just don't know how long I can continue to do this.  My mom doesn't know I am her daughter, she says I am her best friend.  I hate seeing her this way and I know she would hate it also.  When she was still understanding, she would tell me that she would rather be dead.  She told me she would rather be in heaven with my dad.  It's an awful feeling for a daughter to want the Lord to take her mother.  I can't stand the thought of life without her but I don't want to see her get any worse.  She and I were always very close but I am getting to the point where I forget who she used to be.  I don't want to do that.  I want to remember her as my mom.  She is not that person anymore and I'm having a hard time seeing her how she used to be. 

That is my story.  I'm a daughter who is losing her mother, the best friend she ever had.