This last weekend was my 55th birthday, but my first since my mother died in May. My father is in memory care since a heart surgery in January. He has vascular dementia and delirium that comes and goes. When I find him doing well on a Friday night I either spend the night at his "condo", bring him to our house or up to the lake. Friday I took him up to our RV at the lake and we had time together just the two of us. He had maybe 3 delusional sentences the entire 24 hours. We watched Field of Dreams and talked about life/death/heaven and the loss of Mom in May. It was like having him back for a few hours, like the old tiimes. Yes he couldn't figure out how to get out of the bathroom and paniced a bit because he is not crazy about tight quarters. Yes, he almost overlfowed the toilet because he couldn't remember how to flush the RV toilet. I had to leave him alone for 5 minutes and I was panicing about that, hoping nothing bad happened. He was alseep when I returned. We stayed up a lot later than he usually does at home. Speaking of home, he finally calls his place ...when I get back home. What a relief he has settled in to that understanding.

But his gentle kind heart was there with me for a short time. I couldn't have asked for a better birthday present. It was my first birthday without Mom, and probably my last with Dad knowing who I am. A very special time.

I look alot like my mother and sometimes he confuses me with her. He likes to hold hands (and I know how important touch is) so during the movie I said ok Father (because Mom called him Dad too) we can hold hands during the movie, but I'm not Mom and I don't want that hand going anywhere else! We both laughed until we cried. Then when it was my birthday on Monday, I asked him if he knew what was special about that day? He said, someone's birthday, hmmn who could that be. Then his blank look took over. I asked him how old I was, he mumbled some numbers and came up with 83. He said you really don't look to bad for 83! Then I whined DAAAD, it's Karen and I'm only 55 today. He said oh I know, I was just messing with you. What a guy!