This list of fears is not in any order of priority, but they are fears and concerns common to caregivers.

I won't be able to cope

When your spouse/your loved one first hears the news that they have Alzheimer’s it is a big shock for you both. Of course you have known for a long time that something is wrong. You have hoped that their diagnosis will lead to a cure. You now know that is impossible. The type of dementia they have cannot be cured but it can be treated. Try not to despair. Here is a link to drug treatments for Alzheimer’s that can help and can give short term improvement. Family and friends will be important source of comfort and support. Now is the time to find out all you can about Alzheimer’s disease. Here is a link to information- Just Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. Change will occur but it tends to be gradual and most people find they adapt very well as a result.

Their personality will be destroyed.

You will be worried that the person you know and love will suddenly become a stranger. Certainly someone with Alzheimer’s will change as their Alzheimer’s disease progresses. It is important to remember that although they have been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s they are not just the disease. They will still retain much of their personality for a long time. But as their memory loss becomes more severe and they get confused they do lose skills and their role changes within the family and in society. This is an adaptive process and part of a journey that is far from easy. In the very advanced stages of the disease the person you knew and loved is likely to become a shadow of the person they once were.

We will not be able to cope financially

Financial worries are common but you need to find out as quickly as you can what help is available. Here are some links to further information:

Financial Matter and Alzheimer’s

Financial Planning for the Well Spouse 

Medicare and Medicare for People with Alzheimer’s Disease

Here’s How You Can Get Solid Long-Term Care Insurance Information

I'll lose friends and social contacts

The way people react to illnesses is highly variable. People sometimes find it easier to avoid a situation they may find uncomfortable. There are a few things you can do;

• Make the effort to contact friends and family even when you don’t feel like it!
• Educate friends and family on how Alzheimer’s affects behavior. People often feel needlessly fearful about how they act at times. Sometime they fear their prescence will be viewed as an intrusion or they quite simply fear what they don't understand. Reassurance and a warm welcome can help reduce their worries.
• Try to put aside some time for your own social activities. Ask family/friends to sit with the person with Alzheimer’s when you go out.
• Contact your local chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association to find out about social events for you and your loved one. Meeting people in a similar situation to yourselves provides you will social support and friendship.

My life is now over