Sometimes I think the humor may not be prepared. At times, in the ER or the hospital, some young nurses don't have enough experience with demented elderly. They either get mad at the demented person's slow or wrong response, or they laugh about the wrongful logic or talk from the elderly. When my late FIL "accused" the nurses saying they wanted to kill him, they were laughing. Indeed, it was funny to us, but it was NOT funny to him if he was going to be killed...
In the nursing home, sometimes some caregiver would pretend saying she is the "girlfriend" . The other time, the nurse wanted to attract my late FIL since she felt sorry for his need of intimacy. This is not humor, but to me, it is a little bit off the base. I'd stay friendly and sympathetic but not seductive!!
Indeed the medical world needs more education and awarenss for the demented people. They need compassion and understanding, not being laughed at or tricked with some false "comfort" talk.
Regards,
Nina
Good points, Nina. I'm sorry you encountered those issues. Most of the humor I saw in the nursing home was good natured and comforting, but not in a false way that could cause problems. I remember some of your father-in-law's issues and that wasn't the right approach.
Thanks for your input, as always,
Carol
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This is excellent, Christine. I write about humor and caregiving often - sometimes you need to laugh or you'll just sit and cry. However, there is appropriate humor and demeaning humor. As you say, who is the butt of the joke?
One key I feel is who do we share the humor with? Also, is there compassion or anger underneath the humor? Generally, that shows.
Thanks for a really helpful and informative post.
Blessings,
Carol