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dear who ever i have taken care of dementia patients for fifteen years and in the last stage of this exsaperating diease, it always goes to not drinkink not eating at a nursing home the worst sinareo, is not enough staff to feed them and prompt them to drink. at my home i have had time to feed them and prompt them to drink its a game they like to play. sometimes its music too. yes its a problem at nursing homes its the understaffing.
Hi
My grandmother, 80, was diagnosed with old age dementia/alzheimer's. because she is a state pensioner without a medical aid the doctors didn't bother to diagnose her properly. they said nothing more could be done for her and that they needed the bed.
she was recently dumped by her previous caretakers, the rest of the family abandoned her as well. i had to take her in and care for her. i'm unemployed, i don't have a helper and care for her alone. i've tried to get her into an old age home for frail care but am not succeeding.
she can't walk on her own, this morning she got up out of bed between 1-2am and then fell and hit her head. she has food sensitivities so can't have dairy products, fried foods or spices or any kind else her stomach runs and she faints.
i always make sure she has water besides her but when i give the cup to her she only has a few sips. it's the same with food, she won't eat everything and keeps saying she will wet or mess herself, or that she is going to choke.
today she told my boyfriend that he must get the ambulance so that she can die at the hospital. i don't know what to do for her.
You need to listen to her and send her to the ER to see what is wrong. It is real. My father-in-law can always tell people that he needs hospital if he feels bad. So send her to the ER to get proper diagnosis. If she is really in late stage and cannot eat/drink, you should consider hospice in the hospital. The medicaid or medicare should be able to pay for hospice.
I am sorry that she is the problem in the family. Hope the hospital will tell you what to do.
Take care,
NC
hi
thank you for your replies. she was this way at the hospital, but they just said nothing could be done for her and that they couldn't keep her. althernatives were to send her to a sister, lower end hospital. i'll admit straight out that she was placed in the hands of interns who were complete idiots. the hospitals are state run, and the care is very poor. a lower class hospital would mean virtually no care. i don't have money for a private doctor.
my mother died from cancer in 2007 and my grandfather, my gran's husband died in 2009. pre-cancerous cells were found in my cervix last year and i have a list of health issues, including a vp shunt (that needed a check up this year but i can't leave the house as there is no one to care for her). i don't know if she has just decided to give up.
i have tried to get her interested in things but she isn't. she has been dizzy for over a year now, the doctors noted it but did nothing. when i sit her up to eat she wants to lie down.
i remember her telling me 10+ years ago that she went to a doctor who put her on boiled chicken and rice to control her stomach and it worked. so i steam chicken and boil a mixture of veggies and that works but she loses interest. because her stomach is so fragile, the smallest thing can set it off and it runs. i woke up early one morning to find that had happened while she slept. and it causes her to go into a type of faint, where her eyes are wide open and her jaw locks. it doesn't last long so the doctors dismissed it.
i'm sorry this sounds here and there, i've hardly had sleep for 4 days as she is very restless in the evenings when i can't monitor her all the time. i've tried to make her as comfortable as possible, warm, clean, and try to get as much food and liquids in without forcing her. my gran can also be very stubborn, if she doesn't like something she won't eat or drink it so i can't liquidize the food and try and get her to drink it. i try soup with pieces of chicken, that works. i've tried salad, she doesn't eat it. what she will gladly have is coke and sweets, but it disagrees with her stomach and she was told not to have that.
i was told that she would need tube feeding and a catheter. same doctors, but they didn't help any further. i struggled to get them to contact a social worker to help me. unfortunately in south africa, if you don't have a medical aid you don't have a chance.
i'm sorry for the long story. my gran is my second mother, once she is gone i won't have family anymore. i'm also exhausted, this is my bf's house and i do the household work to keep the roof over my head. he won't allow a helper/worker.
thanks again for your help
sorry i forgot to add, hospice says they won't take her unless she has a week to live. i've contacted over 50 people, the alzheimer's association, etc but nothing because without money she can't get a place. i found a home that looks good, near me and will take her state pension. i've handed in the papers but they haven't called for an interview.
we have noticed that my gran has been deliberate at times. she tends to call me every 5 min, saying she had a nightmare about kittens. she did this for 3 hours straight once. my gran is terrified of hospitals, she said she never wanted to go back. people have said that she is putting on an act about calling the ambulance.
i don't know. i'm upset and at a loss.
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In November, my wife with mild to moderate dimential, lost strength in her legs to stand. Simultaneously, all food started to taste "bad". She has been living on milk and fortified drinks. She is perfectly able to feed herself and swallow food but refuses because it tastes "bad".
Any suggestions?
Paul
paulcmurray@yahoo.com
Hi Paul
Sorry about the delay in getting back to you.
There are a few more ideas to get your wife interested in food;
Definitely try different food stuffs, maybe ones with a stronger smell, however smell is often adversely affected in old age so that may not help. Sweet foods are often favorites. Try putting a small amount of liquid glycerin on her lips. It moisturizes the lips and may encourage her then to eat some sweet desserts.
Check that her mouth is not sore, that she is not constipated and that she is in a comfortable position to eat and drink.
Let me know how you get on
Christine
Paul
Also try compilations! Present small amounts of food of different colors, smells and tastes. Put sweet and savory foods on the same plate and if she can, ask her to choose herself. Put on her eye glasses if she uses them. Do not put too much on the plate.
Try doing other tasks in her room so you are not sitting with her. Leave it with her too. She may be more interested when there are no distractions.
Do check that she has regular bowel movements. In my experience as a nurse it was constipation that caused most appetite problems.
Best Wishes
Christine
Christine,
Thank you for your concern and helpful suggestions. Especially to not distract Joan by my presence yet still encourage her.
Paul
Hi Paul--Me again!!!
I was reading some research today in which they found increasing light during meals decreased innapropriate behaviors and improved eating and drinking in people with dementia.
Chrisitne
Hi Christine,
Thank you again for your concern. Joan may go home from rehab Tuesday. I will keep the overhead and bridge lamp on at the table. Just incase. I learned something last night also. The Alzheimer packet mentioned other dementias. I noticed weak legs describing Normal Pressure Hydrophilia. When I looked on Wikpedia and other articles, I discovered Joan has all the symptoms mentioned. Tomorrow I will have to find out if anything will be done for it. Doctors didn't tell me anything when I asked them at Robert Wood Johnson Hospital in New Brunswick. Sadly so.
Paul