I love to open my computer in the moring and go straight to this site. I am continually amazed and touched by the story's I read and the people I meet. I feel truly blessed, my granddaughter is the one that got me to finally check out sites for people living with or caring for a loved one with different mental disorder's. I have met some wonderful people and feel as if when I come here I am connected with the world again. Since my husband's diagnosis over two years ago I felt so alone and disconnected from the world, I didn't know where to go or what to do. I have learned so much and been able to share my fears and not worried will I be judged. family that is not right here to see what is going on daily is questioning everything I say and do. My grand daughter is the only one that is here almost as much as I am. It has never ceased to amaze me how when someone that you love and the family and friends seem to disappear when something happens or illness strikes can not come around but still think they have the right to judge what you do or what you say. I try to explain what is happening with him but no one will listen, I try to explain he dosen't understand and gets confused but they continue to call and tell him things that are happening that up set him that he can't do anything about any more, they won't listen to him and they won't listen to me. I cringe everytime the phone rings. I had to turn off the house phone but he still has his cell phone. I can't take that away from him, it is his only connection to his children and family. I know at some point I will have to take it and it will make me the bad guy but I cannpt let these people continue to call and tell him things that he hears but dosen't understand, they don't want to hear he has alzheimer's they don't visit and they aren't willing to recieve any of the information i have tried to share with them about this disease, yes I know I lived in denial for a long time but I have accepted this disease and now I have to find a way for them to understand. My husband is living on borrowed time. Ray is a Vietanam veteran and retired army officer. He lost both legs fifteen years ago to PAD and now has alzheimer's, COPD and congestive heart failure, I feel blessed for every second of everyday i have him with me. He has out lived the doctors terminial diagnosis by many years, this has been the hardest part this man has gone through so much and then is now living the final indignity. He accepted the loss of his legs with a grace not many could do. He recoverd from the amputations and continued on. He has been my husband and hero for many years and now this. All I want is to enjoy what time we have together and try to make him as happy as possible. It is very difficult to accomplish this when no one comes to see him they only call and upset him. Our nineteen year old grand daughter is the only one that truly sees and accepts and helps. Families of patients get a clue, this disease is real it is horrible and your loved ones really need you, don't desert them when this strikes it can happen to you or someone you love. Help don't desert them don't pretend everything is normal you are doing them and thier care givers a real disservice. I want to Thank everyone on this sight and everyone that reads this, I am sure there are much worse things that can happen but right now watching the man I love slowly leave me more each day is heart breaking. If you read this families please take this to heart, you have to accept this disease and learn from it until you are here in my place you can't judge or critize because you don't understand. Thank you.Connie

Sandy

10/ 6/08 4:43pm

Accepttance and learning are key issues here....thank you, Connie. The most important to the caregiver and the one with dementia are...like you said, " Don't desert them and don't pretend everything is normal". Thank  you for your comment.

Hugs to you....Sandy