Monday, February 13, 2012

Caregiver with dementia....comparable differences

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Sandy

Sandy

Sat, September 27, 2008

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I have been a caregiver to my son who has Learning differences and Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. Many of his learning differences are comparable to my deficits. Auditory memory,short term memory and written language. I had researched and found anything and everything to help my child. I always tried to put myself in his shoes...now, I am walking in them. The more research I have done shows me the path my son followed and the path I am following now. I now can identify with his journey. He continues to live at home and is now my main caregiver. We joke and say," It is the learning disabled person leading the person with dementia."  What a pair!

 

I never complained about my sons' differences but did complain about mistreatment from others who did not have understanding. I remember persons saying ....You do not look like you have arthritis......you do to well to have learning difficulties.  The same words are said to folks who are diagnosed with dementia at a earlier age....You do not look like someone with dementia......you talk ok and I can not tell you have dementia. Much work and time are spent  to look and act like we do, and by the way...how are we suppose to look and act? Many say to me they still can't believe I have dementia because I seem so normal. What is normal? I never understood that either.

 

I want to continue this discusion but, as usual, I have an appointment to attend and it has taken me way to long to compose this. Time flies. I want to talk about effort and actions needed to keep the advancement of our dementia at bay and how the medications and the mountain of work we do to look and act normal are deceiving to others. Till then.....take care.

9/28/08 7:12am

I have been the primaiary care giver of a wonderful man I married 28 years ago. He had his first heart atack 8  months after we married, spent our first wedding anniversary having open heart surgery. He recovered life went on, I had a wreck 5 years later and suffered a closed head injury, amnesia for two years but recovered. Raised our kids and thought life begins as a olderer wiser couple, he got sick again lost both legs to PDA and 5 more heart attacks. Now Alzheimers, it seems as if no matter who you are what you do life is what you make it. love conquers all, but its still rough. My mother never said life was fair and in many cases it isn't but it definately evolves as we do and we can make the best of it and move on or sit and cry, your story is inspiring in that you cared for your son and now he is able (you had to do a great job and conquered a lot with and for him) for him to now be able to help you. Love does heal and that's what keeps us all going through these trials. Bravo Mom a lot of parents can't say the same for thier children that had typical lives and are happy well adults, your son and you are amazing. ConnieSmile

9/30/08 7:50pm

Thank you Connie for your kind words.

9/29/08 2:29pm

Hello Sandy.  So glad to see you as a part of our community.  It sounds like you are truly blessed by having your son there to help.  What a pair.  And the sense of humor will certainly help you along the way.

 

There are resources available for you and your son, I hope you have some kind of support system or support group who can help balance all the twists and turns you are facing.

 

All the best, sue

 

Check out these links for more information on caregivers:

Alzheimer's Caregiver Center

Top Caregiver Web Sites

Managing and Reducing CareGiver Stress

9/30/08 7:53pm

Thanks Sue! and also for the links, very much appreciated.

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