Yes, there are guardianship services that will handle the errant parent, but what you didn't tell your readers is guardianship will suck the estate dry and in record time.
Guardianship abuse is a national epidemic. Guardians and their attorneys are getting rich while pauperizing their Wards into Medicaid and then letting the taxpayers pick up the tab.
And it's about more than money. Guardians often confine their Wards in nursing homes against their will where the Wards health wanes, spirit dies, and soon they die too.
Guardianship services are not the answer.
All good points, Elaine. It happens. Each guardianship is different, of course. However, if elders end up in nursing homes long-term, estates gets "sucked dry" anyway, unless the people were very wealthy to start with. Most of us who had elders in homes long-term are left without any inheritance to "worry about." Few estates can afford the costs, over the years, without running dry.
My concern here, is with the elder who needs somebody to take care of things, and an adult child who emotionally can't handle it. After I wrote the article, I did think I should have added that if you can find a Geriatric Care Coordinator, that is another option. But they, too must be paid, and they aren't available all over the country, though the industry is growing. Also, they don't always handle thing that end up in court.
Whatever path is followed, it will cost money, and each profession has good businesses and crooked ones. None are free. There's really no perfect answer as the very nature of these problems stems from imperfection. I hope better options will come along.
I appreciate your comments. You're a smart woman who has a lot to give. Thank you.
Carol
I fully understand this subject. My mother was a lush. And my sister was murdered once while my mother was albeit sober but pissed off at me as always; she told me that she wished It were me that died and not my sister. Now here we are she is living with the one person that she loathed. I reminded her of my father; who wasn't too nice to her. But I know that it bothers her; she even told me that once. She is also afraid that I may "do something" to pay her back for all of the years of verbal and mental abuse. But that God I know Jesus. without him I wouldn't be able to do it. It has been hard. She has dementia. But I sware she has lucid moments b/c she will say things from my childhood to try to hurt me. And I just look at her and tell her you can no longer hurt me, I am not that little girl anymore. And that seems to do it. Other times I go to my husband and cry in his arms. But this is a subject that needs to be looked into. It is very hard. But I am learning something from this myself. I want my mother to be healed from her pain; I understand that hurt people hurt people. I pray that she allows God to heal her hurt.
You are an amazing person. Your faith makes you strong. To say that you are no longer that girl, and have her understand - yes I believe they can be lucid enough to understand such talk. To pray that her hurt is healed is right, even though I'm sure it's hard for you considering the abuse you've endured.
Blessings to you. Your are strong, courageous and true to your beliefs. I admire all that you are.
Carol
Featuring Content From:
By using this service, you accept our Terms of Use. Please read them. The consumer health information on is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for medical advice or treatment for any medical conditions. You should promptly seek professional medical care if you have any concern about your health, and you should always consult your physician before starting a fitness regimen. Copyright © 2013 Remedy Health Media, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
10 Signs of Alzheimer's 
10 Ways to Protect Your Brain Against Alzheimer’s 
10 Things to Do After an Alzheimer's Diagnosis 
Seven Facts You Should Know About Alzheimer's Disease 
This isnt quite on the same level as people caring for their elderly parents all the time, but I still thought it worth putting in. I had virtually no relationship with my father at all because of psychological abuse since he came back from the war, to find me the centre of attention at four years old. As time has gone by I have understood more, the roots of all his problems, not only the war, but others as well, reaching back years into his own childhood.
I helped my mother care for him over the ten years of his illness with Alzheimers disease. This certainly wasnt all the time at all, as I lived a long way away and was only able to visit every few weeks for a few days, supported by my husband, as well.
However, I would really suggest, as Carol mentioned in her entry, that somehow people are involved in the care giving. Over these years I learned to care for my father again and develop a new relationship with him, which was so incredibly valuable. Whatever someone may say, they always want the love of their parents and if it is not there, they suffer all their lives. When he was dying - at home, in his own bed, I was able to say to him that I loved him. He was in a partial coma at the time, but he opened his eyes and looked directly at me. This was so important to me, and to him, I am sure. I am so grateful for the fact that I was able to be there for him throughout his illness - though I do not know whether I could have been his primary carer, I think, in fact, that would have been impossible.
So, to have supporive help, to have real input into caring for an elderly parent, who may have been abusive and to make peace, is such a healing thing that helps so much in the rest of life....
You made a huge contribution here, today, Cathrynn. Thanks so much for your note.
Carol
thank you, Carol - it wasnt a decision to forgive, though - it just happened as the relationship changed - glad to be able to tell this story, I know so many people who havnt made their peace and it is so painful.
Cathrynn