If any of you were to read my e-mails from the past few months you'd wonder about doctors and what is going on in their heads. Most of us know doctors that are exceptional human beings as well as talented scientists and healers. Most of us also know doctors that are smart researchers, but perh...
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drs
Leah
Monday, March 03, 2008 at 02:24 PMre: drs
Carol Bradley Bursack
Monday, March 03, 2008 at 03:20 PMYikes! That doctor and the diabetes story is horrible. Diabetes is a specialty that needs treatment.
I think you are right in the dismissing department - doctors are trained to cure, so if you can't be "fixed" then they don't know what to say. That isn't true of all of them, of course. Some are terrific.
Some of the problem is the way the system is set up. But, as I said, some people go into medicine and should stick to the labs. They aren't cut out for patients.
Thanks Leah, for your comments. I value your opinion very much.
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doctor and friends
Nina Chen
Wednesday, March 05, 2008 at 11:57 AMI have two questions here:
First of all, you said the change of doctor should be done if we are not happy with the way the doctor deals with my father-in-law who has severe-moderate AD. But is it worthwhile to change? Should we get someone who does not know his history? Isn't this more unstable? The doctor he has now knows more about his past. But the doctor has his own nursing home practice and as well as family practice. He is nice to make house calls but not lately. Kind of an impatient, busy and young doctor. My father-in-law still lives at home and has 24 hours home care.
Second, is it true that in severe/moderate stage, no friends can visit him without any painful experience? That is, is it true only caregivers and nursing home can be his so-called "friends"? He forgot all about his friends. e.g. His best friend in other state lost his spouse and my father-in-law who is a widower since 2004 simply cannot understand/remember this in order to comfort his friend. We would have to write a card to his best friend to express our sympathy. He also tends to treat ladies as a date or girlfriend...
Should we just deal with all this naturally without any actions? Now only 1 or 2 friends would call or visit him at times. He has a quite anti-social personality also (not due to AD).
Thanks,
Nina
replyre: doctor and friends
Carol Bradley Bursack
Wednesday, March 05, 2008 at 12:07 PMHi Nina,
It's tough to decide if you should change doctors for him. It's usually good to see a doctor that knows the patient's history. But if the doctor isn't following up the way you'd like, it certainly wouldn't hurt to try a doctor more versed in AD. This doctor sounds like he has many interests, including the nursing home. If he was making home visits, that is huge these days. Most don't do that. However, if he doesn't do that anymore, then how much are you gaining by staying with him? Only your family can decide what to do, but a second opinion may be of some help. Then you could decide which doctor seems to be the best option.
As far as his friends go, that is so sad. It certainly wouldn't hurt your father-in-law to have old friends visit. My dad didn't have AD, but he had dementia, and it was so sad that so few friends would visit him, as they "wanted to remember him as he was."
I understand that, but Dad would have loved to have seen them. It was horrible, because he missed these people so much. Yet, I do know it's hard to visit someone with dementia, and not everyone can do it. And yes, you should warn his visitors about the fact that he can't remember what has happened to them, that he may not even remember them (though people often remember faces longer than names), and that he may "hit on" a woman (also common with AD).
This may mean few people will visit, but maybe a few old friends are understanding enough to give it a try. Everyone benefits from learning more about dementia and how to deal with it. So, if his friends are informed, they should visit if they can. It could be very helpful.
Take care of yourself. You sound like a thoughtful, loving person. People who had difficult personalities even before dementia can be particularly challenging. You are doing well.
Carol
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Hi, Carol. I was quite interested in your post about doctors. I wonder if some doctors dismiss patients because said patients have problems which are not really "fixable". And, so, when Alzheimers is diagnosed, it's like OVER for that patient, so he/she is no longer important to that doctor. I'm not sure I am explaining myself very well.
Another example of what we are working with today as far as physicians are concerned: I have been seeing a young doctor who copped an attitude when I asked if possibly I should be seeing a diabetes doctor. He told me that was totally unnecessary because it's not like treating diabetes is rocket science or anything...a metaphor which I deplore. I felt he was taking too lightly all that diabetes entails. So...just one more example of today's doctors!
Leah
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